©2022 Alicia Dara
My work with women means I get to interact with top minds in all kinds of fields including tech, law, finance, medicine, beauty, fashion, education, engineering, construction and science. Through coaching them I get exposed to fascinating projects, and glimpse the future of each industry through their eyes. I also get to learn from their experiences, and gain invaluable wisdom from their insights.
For example, recently a long-time Power Voice client I’ll call Renata*, a Global VP at a public relations firm with many high-profile clients, messaged me about something that happened to one of her employees, a woman that she was formally mentoring through her company’s leadership initiative program. Renata is an athletic woman in her mid-50’s, with a strong handshake and a great eye for talent. She is highly respected and well known in her industry, and she takes mentoring seriously, because she had so many (in her words), “total bozos” as mentors when she was first starting out in her career. Her specialty is women who might be overlooked due to shyness and/or lack of confidence. I’ve given many Power Voice trainings to her mentees over the years, and the combination of those skills and Renata’s excellent guidance has helped a lot of them rise up through the company, and become leaders in their own right.
The woman Renata was mentoring, who I’ll call Sabine*, had recently been promoted to a Management position, and was now in charge of a 15-person team that worked on the company’s most important cases, the ones that occasionally break the Internet with their news headlines. Although the pressure is intense, Renata was sure that Sabine would be able to handle it, as long as she felt supported along the way. They had a good relationship, which is why Sabine felt comfortable coming to Renata with her dilemma.
Apparently, Sabine had walked in on an argument between two of her team members over a slice of pizza in the office fridge. Each person swore the slice was theirs, but it was impossible to know its rightful owner: the slice was unlabeled and unidentifiable save for its pepperoni and olive toppings, which were the only kind of pizzas that the team ever ordered. By the time Sabine entered the room, the argument between the two team members was getting heated, with raised voices and frowning faces.
The pizza was delicious, and Sabine could understand why they were arguing over the right to devour it. As their manager she could have stepped in and attempted to help them resolve the conflict in a fair way, maybe by suggesting that whoever ate the slice would buy the other person their lunch that day. Sabine had good conflict resolution skills, which is part of how she got promoted to the position of Manager: everyone trusted her to be fair, impartial and innovative in her solutions, rather than running away from office conflicts or offloading them to other employees.
Yet in this particular case, Sabine walked out of the room and let her teammates deal with the pizza situation on their own. She had acted on pure instinct, but now she was second-guessing her choice, and asked Renata for her opinion.
Renata told her this: “I think you did exactly the right thing at exactly the right time in your career! It has to do with the difference between fluid intelligence and crystalized intelligence. Fluidity is what you have when you’re young: you can solve a lot of problems very quickly. Crystallized intelligence, on the other hand, is what you develop as you mature: you know which problems are actually worth solving. I’m positive that your team respected your choice to leave the pizza debate in their capable hands.”
Sure enough, Sabine’s team members came to her later that week and actually apologized for letting their pizza argument spill over into her workday. They told her they respected her for leaving the scene, and would shield her from petty issues in the future. Sabine was so happy that she’d made the right choice that she had a large pizza delivered to Renata, with a note that said, “Thanks for your help, and enjoy the flavor of my big breakthrough!”
These are the kinds of stories that I cherish, because they show how women can support each other’s success, and help each other thrive in the workplace. A combination of support and skills can be a career game-changer, as I’ve witnessed many times over. Are you ready to onboard some new skills in a supportive and encouraging environment? My next public training is, “Conflict Resolution Skills for Career Women” on Thursday, July 21st from 4-5:30pm PDT. There are only 20 tickets available, and you can grab your ticket HERE.