The Job Interview Subject You Must Bring Up

Many of the high-level clients who seek me out are in a period of career transition. They want to take the next big leap forward, usually to a higher leadership position where they will have more responsibility and more impact. Even though they are extremely experienced with a strong track record of proven successes, they don’t feel confident in their ability to show up as powerfully as possible. As we practice for job interviews, areas of communication weakness are revealed. While there is some variation in these areas, one issue in particular comes up again and again. 

It comes down to this: when you’re in the process of interviewing for a high-level role, you must communicate that you intend to shape the role. That means you set clear expectations for what you wish to accomplish, the autonomy you need to get it done, and the way you expect to be treated. During interviews many women will focus on what is written in the job description, and over-explain how their experience makes them qualified. But if you’re already in the interview room for a high-level role, it’s understood that you can do the basics of the job. Often women are afraid of being perceived as demanding or arrogant by speaking up about these things. I urge you to keep in mind that high-level leaders are expected to make their needs and wants clear. If you don’t do that, you might inadvertently signal that you don’t really see yourself as a competent leader, and aren't up for the job at hand. To make a strong impression and inspire powerful confidence in your skills, knowledge, and expertise, you have to go beyond your limits. 

Communicating clearly and without apology is not arrogant! It’s the most efficient way to get what you want and achieve your goals. Of course, you should always practice for job interviews. You can write out 5-10 questions that you anticipate you’ll be asked during the interview, and practice delivering your answers in a clear, concise, and compelling way (you can also practice asking your own questions of the interviewer).

For high-level job interviews, practice communicating these three things:

1. That you expect to shape the role you’re taking on. Shaping the role is what will lead to your greatest success. Let them know that you expect a high degree of autonomy, so that you can work quickly and efficiently and accomplish XYZ (see my previous post on the 4 Magic Words for more info). Speak to your future vision for your team, your project and the company, and talk about what you need to achieve it all. My clients who do this have been able to achieve great things and are much more fulfilled in their careers overall. 

2. That you expect to be given full credit for your achievements in the role, both privately and publicly. This is the one that my clients find the most difficult to ask for, and I understand that it can feel vulnerable. But women’s accomplishments are chronically undervalued in the workplace, at every level and across every sector. You may have already had the demoralizing experience of having your hard work ignored, sidelined or even demeaned. Or you may have spent your entire career suspecting that your work is worth much more than you’ve ever been given credit for. In any case, you must be crystal-clear about receiving credit, and give specifics (ex: being given public credit at Board meetings, and/or being recognized as the expert in the room on high-level client calls). Don’t skip this step, or you could end up getting the same old treatment. 

3. That you expect to maintain a robust degree of ownership over your work. This one actually relates to #2, but it’s more about what happens at the salary/compensation level. If part of your role involves creating and/or designing original products and/or content, and there is an opportunity for you to own some percentage of the profit sharing, you must ask for this in the interview. Let them know that you won’t sign on unless they guarantee it. Some of my clients have deep regrets about not asking for this from the beginning, as they saw their hard work skyrocket into massive sales that left them out in the cold. Of course the specific percentages may be dependent on achieving key sales and/or engagement metrics, but regardless, you must make it clear that you expect to participate in profit sharing. 

These are just some of the techniques I work on with my clients. I give private Power Voice For Executive Women session packages to highly motivated individuals. I also give Power Communication trainings to groups of Executives and professionals at companies like Microsoft, Amazon, Columbia Bank, Carharrt and Kimpton Hotels, both remotely and in person. CONTACT ME for more info about my trainings, rates and availability. I love hearing from you!

A Bad Career Habit You Must Break NOW!

I’ve written previously about how having a BTS (Behind the Scenes) mindset can hamper your career progress. I see this with many clients who have held behind-the-scenes roles, especially in heavily male-dominated fields like tech, law, finance and in the corporate sector. They reach a point where they want to advance to the next level of their career, but they’re still using old behaviors and communication styles that keep them stuck on the sidelines, instead of stepping confidently into the spotlight, where the big rewards are. 

Today I’m going to outline another BTS mistake that I see clients making all the time, and give you some tips about how to bypass it. This one is a doozy, because it often leads to extra work, the kind that accumulates over time and can lead to career dissatisfaction, or even serious burnout. So it’s important that you stop doing it right now!

I’m talking about covering for other people’s shoddy work. 

If you're a leader or manager, you might already be doing this. It may take the form of completing a team member’s incomplete tasks, editing their poor storytelling, or even throwing out their reports and crafting whole new ones for them, so that their bad work doesn’t reach the eyes of Senior leadership. In short, you’re doing the work that someone else is supposed to have done.

Cleaning up after others may have become a regular habit. You may even believe that a good leader makes their entire team look good. But in fact, actions like these are actually a misguided attempt to project your own personal standard of excellence onto the stragglers, in the hopes that they’ll get the message and start performing at a higher level. It’s a passive and distinctly ineffective way to communicate your message, and it leads to a ton of extra work on your plate. 

Think about it: doing all that extra work might even be the reason why you’re not making good progress on your own projects, or having the impact you want to achieve. How can you stay engaged with your Zone of Genius when you’re busy cleaning up other people’s mess?

Here are three ways to break free from this habit:

• Audit the way you’re setting their expectations. When you assign a task to someone, are you crystal-clear about what you expect from them? This isn’t micromanaging. It’s a simple but powerful action that can greatly impact their results. Use your Power Voice! Be specific, using adjectives that communicate how you want their finished product to look and feel. Talk to them face to face, then follow up with a clear, concise email recap.

• Identify their key strengths. Don’t assign a systems-ops problem to a creative storyteller. Especially when your project deadline is tight, match the right task to the right person. This one action can save a ton of time and energy for all concerned. 

• Engage them in a mid-project group meeting. This is when you can redirect anyone who is off track. Especially if someone is late with a task, use your Power Voice to remind them exactly which team members are waiting on their work. Social pressure is powerful. Make sure that person understands that being late or shoddy will have consequences for the entire group, and that others won’t be pleased with them. 

Using your Power Voice to break through your BTS habits takes time, but the results can be extraordinary. Power, after all, is impact. As your team's work improves, and your leadership impact is felt in new ways, you can be noticed by key figures who help you take big leaps forward in your career.

This is just one of the techniques I work on with my clients. I give private Power Voice session packages to high-level women Executives and others. Power Communication trainings to groups of Executives and professionals at companies like Microsoft, Amazon, Columbia Bank, Carharrt and Kimpton Hotels, both remotely and in person. Email me for more info about my trainings, rates and availability. I love hearing from you!

The Key Strength You're Missing

Despite the fact that gender equity in the workplace has made some progress in the past 25 years, there is still quite a long way to go, especially in the corporate sector. Some companies claim to have achieved things like, “30% gender equity, and counting”, but it doesn’t take a data scientist to see that all of that progress is happening below a certain level in the company. When you look at their Senior leadership level, it mostly disappears.

For women who are employed in these companies, the day-to-day effects can be very real. Male-dominated workplaces are historically resistant to women’s contributions, and that can play out in meetings, performance reviews, panels, presentations and even at networking events. For example, you might have had the experience of feeling like whenever you bring up a good point in a meeting, it’s ignored until it’s repeated by a male staffer, who then gets all the credit.

But there is another issue that is worth your attention. Many women inside corporate environments, in order to survive and prevail so they can keep working, unconsciously adopt the “kill or be killed” mindset that is common in high-performing, male-dominated workplaces. You may have even come to believe that success is a zero-sum game, and that the other women in your workplace are a direct threat to your success.

If you're like most of my clients, you probably didn’t start out that way. When you were a young woman at the very beginning of your career, you didn’t yet have enough skills, knowledge, experience and wisdom to be a threat to anyone. You were just working hard, head-down, trying to learn and achieve as much as you could.

But now that you’ve climbed up the ladder, things are different. You might have some amount of animosity, or even antagonism, toward the other women in your professional workplace. This isn’t entirely your fault. In fact, it’s mostly the result of having spent so much time working inside a system that wasn’t designed for women to succeed. Seen through this lens, it’s understandable that you may have lost some goodwill toward the other women as you struggled to stake out your territory, and hold onto it. You may have felt the need to play your cards close to your chest, and keep to yourself as much as possible.

I often see this phenomenon when I enter a new workplace to give a Power Voice for Executives training to a group of women. Recently I gave an event to a group at a global finance company who had been working together for about 5 years. One of the women was from France, and because I grew up in Canada and went to a French elementary school, I could instruct her (a bit) in her native language. When we took our lunch break, another woman from the same group walked up to her and started conversing in French. This shocked the first woman, who didn't know that her longtime co-worker was fluent. Let me say that again: these two women had worked closely together for 5 years, and never known that the other spoke French!

One of the things I love best about giving group trainings is watching this type of breakthrough happen between women. As they work together to learn and practice high-level communication skills, the women encourage each other’s voices to grow literally and figuratively stronger. A collective feeling of trust is established, and as they go through the Power Voice exercises (which include writing scripts, mock-interviewing each other, and performing for the whole group), their walls break down. By the end of the event they are chatting excitedly about how to apply their new skills to upcoming projects, and making plans to continue practicing their Power Voice skills.

Having a strong, connected and trusting team is key to your success. Women are MUCH stronger when we work together. Many of the groups I work with pull women from different teams across their company to attend the training, which creates strong connections from every direction. This is a great way to forge a powerful support network going forward. By the way, those two women I mentioned earlier? They made plans to vacation in Paris this summer with their families.

Contact me for details about my “Power Voice for Executives” group trainings and private session packages, or have a look on my website. I love hearing from you!

The #1 Mindset Mistake for Career Women

Before I begin, a quick reminder that I write every word of my newsletter myself, sans AI. This is me, Alicia, speaking to you directly, bringing you tips, information, and encouragement to help you find your Power Voice and use it to make a big leap forward in your career. Please reach out to me any time with questions or comments, I love getting your feedback!

Whenever a new client arrives in our Zoom for their first session, I spend the first half hour asking some simple intake questions, and listening carefully to their answers. I’ll ask them to tell me the story of their career, leading up to where they are now. Then I’ll ask them to project into the future, to share where they would like to go.

Although the details of each woman’s story can be extremely different, there is one particular element that often shows up, both in their larger career choices and their day-to-day work. It’s about being “behind the scenes.”

Some women have spent their whole career doing “behind the scenes” types of roles. Some of them started out “behind the scenes” in their career, and have transitioned to more visible roles, but are still employing a “behind the scenes” mindset. Some have always had visible roles, but have never been able to see themselves as anything but “behind the scenes.” I call this suffering from BTS.

Traditionally and historically, women have been relegated to BTS roles in almost every sector and industry. Even here in the 21st century, the workplace gender bias that keeps pressure on women to fill BTS roles, and adopt that mindset, is massive. That pressure may have unconsciously shaped both your career path and your mindset, even though you didn’t want it to.

It's true that for some women, especially those in heavily male-dominated fields like tech, finance, law, construction, and also in corporate America, there can be an advantage to employing a BTS mindset as they move up the ladder. Working carefully behind the scenes can help you appear non threatening to those in power.

But there comes a point in your career when having a BTS mindset is no longer a viable option. Successful leadership requires a powerful strategy that you consciously apply to your work, and all of your communication. Many of my clients are currently in leadership roles, but a BTS mindset is keeping them from achieving maximum impact.

Here are some signs that you're suffering from BTS:

• You are excellent at strategy, systems ops and other kinds of high-level tasks, but you can’t seem to rally support for your ideas.

• When you have to give an important presentation, or lead a big meeting with Senior staff in the room, you feel terribly anxious and don't perform well (you might even be so nervous that you pass these tasks off to someone else!)

• You have to repeat your ideas and strategies over and over to your team, who don’t seem to take you very seriously.

• During your annual performance review you are told that you’re not stepping up enough, even though all your metrics look good (your boss might even say that you need to “work on your Executive presence” before you can be promoted).

If you’re suffering from BTS, it’s likely affecting the way you communicate with your staff and everyone around you. Using your Power Voice can clarify your points, hold someone's attention, and inspire powerful loyalty, which can translate into powerful impact.

Here are some simple ways to use your Power Voice to remove BTS from your professional communication:

• Adopt a regular Power Voice practice routine. Before a big meeting, set aside 30-60 minutes.. Write down your points, and examine them for qualifiers, or anything that minimizes your point, or dilutes your authority. Stand up and speak your points out loud, and again: watch for qualifiers! If this exercise makes you uncomfortable or even emotional, that’s a sign that it’s working. Just let the emotions pass through, and do it again.

• Have the courage of your convictions. When you make your point, speak in a clear and confident voice, and let it land. Allow others to express dissenting opinions without rushing in to take care of their feelings. Let them adult their way through it! Stay strong and don’t soften your words. Show them that you won’t be dissuaded.

• Examine your metaphors. Are they having the effect you want? Something like, “overburdened with tasks” might not get through to someone, but “drinking from a firehose” could do the trick. You’ll have to decide which one is right for which situation. Flexing your style when necessary is a power move.

This is just one of the techniques I work on with my clients. I give Power Communication trainings to groups of Executives and professionals at companies like Microsoft, Amazon, Columbia Bank, Carharrt and Kimpton Hotels, both remotely and in person. Contact me for more info about my trainings, rates and availability. I love hearing from you!

The Language of expertise: Part 4

We’ve come to the last of this 4-part installment (here's where you can read Part 1, Part 2, and Part 3). I hope you’ve found it helpful, and that you’re getting more comfortable with the idea of declaring your expertise. Especially for women, standing up for your expertise through strategic and intentional communication is a powerful action that can help you take a huge leap forward in your career. When I work with groups of Executives and professional women, I can see and feel how much expertise they carry with them wherever they go. Helping them find the language for it, and seeing their expertise make an impact in the world, is my favorite part of my job.

The fourth Language of Expertise strategy that I want to talk about today is the Language of Future Prediction. Experts are not stuck in the past. They certainly draw from it, especially as it relates to the larger context of their expertise. They also keep current with whatever is going on right now, and can speak in great detail about those issues in a way that gains our trust (see parts 1-3 of this series in the links above).

But experts also use the Language of Future Prediction to tell us what may come to pass in their field, their sector and their industry. These predictions are usually high-level hunches based on their skills, experience, knowledge and wisdom. They can spot trends and predict how those trends will affect the next phase of their company. They look outside their sector for clues about larger market trends, and can point to areas of undeveloped growth. They can interpret obscure bits of data that point to otherwise invisible trajectories. They can see months and years ahead, and paint a picture of what the future will look like in a way that immediately has the ring of truth. They also use the Language of Future Prediction to position themselves inside the future, as key decision makers with intelligence, insight and vision to spare.

Throughout this entire 4-part series on the Language of Expertise I’ve reminded you that it’s about building trust, not just with key stakeholders, but with Senior leadership, your peers, and those who may want to work with you, or for you, in the future. The reason it works so well is because by using the Language of Expertise, especially the Language of Future Prediction, you are signaling to the world that you believe in yourself, and that you are strong and confident enough to carry the weight of leadership.

Many women are frightened of declaring their expertise and moving into positions of leadership because of the increased (and sometimes vicious) scrutiny that is applied to female leaders in almost every sector and industry. This double-standard is real, and it is one of the many reasons why women are stalled at levels below those where they actually belong.

I’ve noticed that many of my clients who are comfortable using the first three Language of Expertise strategies will often balk at using the fourth one, the Language of Future Prediction. They are afraid of making a great big public mistake, one that will follow them everywhere, and undermine the forward trajectory of their career.

But in fact, experts can roll with the punches, and are able to pivot quickly from mistakes, absorbing new data and course-correcting accordingly. This is actually part of the privilege of being an expert: the ability to change your mind whenever you want. Retracting your mistake and course-correcting in public can certainly be scary, but when done skillfully, this process can actually help people trust you even more, as they recognize that you are open and receptive to new ideas and new ways of thinking, not stuck in old and outdated ones.

In any case, now more than ever, we desperately need women experts to declare themselves in every sector and industry. As you embrace this process, I strongly recommend that you find (or create) a community of fellow female experts that you can be close to, and share resources with. Pushing beyond sexist narratives of how women should and should not appear in professional spaces is going to take a lot of energy and stamina, and sharing the burden with women who have been through it will greatly help you on your journey.

Lastly, in order for women to actually shape the future, we need to speak publicly about our predictions and our vision for it. Staying silent won’t get us there. Women, I implore you: seize the mantle of your expertise, use these techniques, and make the world understand that you are well-qualified to lead us into a future that we can believe in.

I give Power Communication trainings to groups of professionals and Executives at companies like Microsoft, Amazon, Columbia Bank, Carharrt and Kimpton Hotels, both remotely and in person. Contact me for more info about my trainings, rates and availability. I love hearing from you!

The Language of Expertise: Part 3

If you want to be perceived as an expert in your field, you must be able to build trust with everyone around you, especially key stakeholders. Every time you speak up in professional settings like meetings, work presentations, client pitches, or industry conventions, you have the opportunity to accomplish this goal. The Four Power Communication Skills that I’m outlining in this 4-part series (Part 1 is here, and Part 2 is here) are designed with this goal in mind. The third of these skills, which we’re going to talk about today, is the Language of Constructive Criticism.

If reading those words makes you flinch, you’re not alone. Many women shy away from giving any kind of criticism because of sexist social conditioning that tells us we are supposed to be nice, polite, and accommodating to others at all times. The thought of criticizing someone else’s work may feel distinctly uncomfortable, or even frightening. But without it you could end up covering for someone else’s shoddy work, or having to take the blame for their mistakes. A good dose of constructive criticism at the right moment can help you avoid these common issues and get your time back.

In any case, if you want to gain trust in your expertise (and stand out as a leader), you need to take this skill seriously. By providing genuinely constructive criticism, the type that helps people work smarter and better, you are also demonstrating your skills, knowledge, and wisdom, as you point out important issues that someone may have missed in their work, and provide valuable perspective that comes from your more experienced vantage point.

Constructive criticism is illuminating and encouraging, not shaming or blaming. The person on the receiving end should feel that there is a solid path forward, not a series of roadblocks, or impossible hurdles that they can’t overcome. You can start by praising a part of their work that is particularly good, and express appreciation for it. Then you can draw attention to the issue, and point out whatever they may have missed or neglected. You can then call out a particular skill that the person possesses, and encourage them to apply it to the solution. If the person appears to be feeling admonished, rather than empowered, it can be helpful to share a short anecdote about how you once overcame something similar in your own work, and how that incident informed the solutions you now believe in.

Experts are also able to offer high-level constructive criticism of their company, their sector, and their industry as a whole. Many of my clients work through these things in our sessions as they prepare for media interviews, Board speeches, industry conventions, or company retreats. Do you know your company’s current top-5 pain points? Are you able to offer some ideas for viable solutions? How about your industry: is it going in the right direction? If not, what would it take to get there? These things can be extremely influential, and have a big impact on your career visibility. Make sure that everything you share is backed up by rigorous data and facts, and be prepared to face some blowback if your ideas are particularly provocative. Be polite but firm in your responses, and keep in mind that innovative ideas are often met with derision, until they’re recognized for their genius and widely adopted by all.

Please feel free with questions, and reach out to me if you’d like to book a Power Voice or Power Communication training for the women in your workplace. I love hearing from you!

The Language of Expertise: Part 2

In my previous post I introduced the Four Power Communication Skills that women can use to communicate their expertise, and harness it in service of advancing their careers. I want many more women to stand up and identify ourselves as experts, so that we can claim our rightful place at the top of every industry. To paraphrase RBG, women belong in all the rooms where experts are respected. It takes courage to reject sexist narratives about women in the workforce and gain the respect and influence that our expertise deserves. These Power Skills will help you advocate for your expertise in any situation. 

Last time I shared the first Power Skill, which is the Language of Opinion. Today I’m going to share number two, which is The Language of Persuasion.

Experts have influence because their expertise illuminates things that we can’t see on our own. When we engage with a subject matter expert, we may come with preconceived notions, or even strong opinions, about something in their domain. But the expert has a deep

well of skills, knowledge, experience and wisdom to draw from. They are usually able to see many sides of a problem, which helps them identify viable solutions that are invisible to us. An expert who can persuade us that we might be wrong, and fully transform our point of view, is highly impactful and impressive. Through this skillful and powerful action they earn our trust, and we are highly likely to recommend their expertise to others.  

Now it’s your turn to learn this important skill. Let’s break it down:

First of all, persuading someone out of a strongly-held opinion is not a quick process. People often over-identify with their own opinions, to the point where they feel distinctly threatened when those opinions are challenged. I see this phenomenon all the time when I work with executives in corporate America, who often feel that they’re in direct competition with their peers and almost everyone around them. In this highly-charged atmosphere every work day feels like a battle for territory, leading people to cling to their opinions as a method of staking their claim on a patch of unstable ground. 

But even those who are merely skeptical need to be treated carefully. When it’s time to persuade someone to change their mind, it’s important to approach them lightly. The first step is to make sure that they feel seen and heard. Can you reflect back their opinion exactly as they see it? If not, ask them to clarify their point of view. Especially if you sense fear in their words, take another moment to reassure them that you understand where they’re coming from. Don’t skip this step! If you can show that you understand their point of view, you'll be more likely to persuade them to change it. 

Once they feel seen and heard they will start to relax a bit. Now is the time to express some kind of common ground. Maybe you had the same fear about the issue as they did, until you learned some new facts that recently came to light. Or maybe you can point out that their opinion actually supports theirs, and that there is a natural progression in effect. You might try using an analogy or metaphor that shows the issue from a different light. Storytelling is highly effective in the Language of Persuasion, because it gets the brain moving outside the usual lines of thought and inquiry. 

Whatever method you use, make sure to stay calm and respectful toward that person. Don’t gloat or act superior, or you’ll risk losing their trust forever. Remember, your objective is to build trust, and you can only do that by respecting their fundamental humanity, even if they are 100% wrong in every way. Go slowly, listen deeply, and make a compelling case. Converting a skeptic is one thing, but converting a naysayer is a high-level skill that every expert should know how to do. 

Reach out to me with questions, or more info about my Power Voice group trainings and private session packages, or click around my site.

The Language of Expertise: Part 2 (Copy)

In my previous post I introduced the Four Power Communication Skills that women can use to communicate their expertise, and harness it in service of advancing their careers. I want many more women to stand up and identify ourselves as experts, so that we can claim our rightful place at the top of every industry. To paraphrase RBG, women belong in all the rooms where experts are respected. It takes courage to reject sexist narratives about women in the workforce and gain the respect and influence that our expertise deserves. These Power Skills will help you advocate for your expertise in any situation. 

Last time I shared the first Power Skill, which is the Language of Opinion. Today I’m going to share number two, which is The Language of Persuasion.

Experts have influence because their expertise illuminates things that we can’t see on our own. When we engage with a subject matter expert, we may come with preconceived notions, or even strong opinions, about something in their domain. But the expert has a deep

well of skills, knowledge, experience and wisdom to draw from. They are usually able to see many sides of a problem, which helps them identify viable solutions that are invisible to us. An expert who can persuade us that we might be wrong, and fully transform our point of view, is highly impactful and impressive. Through this skillful and powerful action they earn our trust, and we are highly likely to recommend their expertise to others.  

Now it’s your turn to learn this important skill. Let’s break it down:

First of all, persuading someone out of a strongly-held opinion is not a quick process. People often over-identify with their own opinions, to the point where they feel distinctly threatened when those opinions are challenged. I see this phenomenon all the time when I work with executives in corporate America, who often feel that they’re in direct competition with their peers and almost everyone around them. In this highly-charged atmosphere every work day feels like a battle for territory, leading people to cling to their opinions as a method of staking their claim on a patch of unstable ground. 

But even those who are merely skeptical need to be treated carefully. When it’s time to persuade someone to change their mind, it’s important to approach them lightly. The first step is to make sure that they feel seen and heard. Can you reflect back their opinion exactly as they see it? If not, ask them to clarify their point of view. Especially if you sense fear in their words, take another moment to reassure them that you understand where they’re coming from. Don’t skip this step! If you can show that you understand their point of view, you'll be more likely to persuade them to change it. 

Once they feel seen and heard they will start to relax a bit. Now is the time to express some kind of common ground. Maybe you had the same fear about the issue as they did, until you learned some new facts that recently came to light. Or maybe you can point out that their opinion actually supports theirs, and that there is a natural progression in effect. You might try using an analogy or metaphor that shows the issue from a different light. Storytelling is highly effective in the Language of Persuasion, because it gets the brain moving outside the usual lines of thought and inquiry. 

Whatever method you use, make sure to stay calm and respectful toward that person. Don’t gloat or act superior, or you’ll risk losing their trust forever. Remember, your objective is to build trust, and you can only do that by respecting their fundamental humanity, even if they are 100% wrong in every way. Go slowly, listen deeply, and make a compelling case. Converting a skeptic is one thing, but converting a naysayer is a high-level skill that every expert should know how to do. 

Reach out to me with questions, or more info about my Power Voice group trainings and private session packages, or click around my site.

The Language of Expertise: Part 1

It might shock you to learn that many of my high-level, accomplished, experienced clients don’t identify as experts in their field. It certainly shocks me, and last year I did a deep-dive into this phenomenon: why is it so hard for women to identify as experts, and what’s stopping them from stepping up and owning their expertise? 

What I learned is that there are 3 main reasons, and you might recognize some (or all) of them:

1. Many women don’t want the friction that comes with publicly owning their expertise. They fear that they’ll be subject to intense scrutiny that will cause extra stress and second-guessing, which will interfere with the quality of their work.

2. Some women are concerned that declaring themselves as experts will change the way their peers see them, leading to toxic competition and a lack of psychological safety in the workplace.

3. Others fear that they don’t have enough of what it takes to be considered an expert, and are not able to visualize themselves in that role. 

I completely understand if you identify with any of these, and please know that you’re not alone. But I want to point out that one of the most powerful and harmful sexist narratives in our culture is that men are the top experts in every field. In fact, we have become so enculturated to the dominance of male experts, that in daily work meetings, group discussions, and project strategizing we often defer to men’s opinions automatically, even when there are actual women experts in the room!

I’ve taught my Power Voice methods in over 200 workplaces, and I’ve seen these effects with my own eyes. I know you have too, and in my next 4 posts I’m going to help you move beyond your fears and claim your expertise, so you can see and feel the fantastic effects on your career.

Let’s begin here:

There are Four Power Communication Skills that we expect from an expert in any field, any sector and any role. The first is the most important: we expect them to be able to express clear, confident opinions. If you watch an interview with Martha Stewart, you expect her to express firm opinions about the best new pie recipes, nonstick vs copper pots, and the current state of food journalism. If you watch one with Viola Davis, you expect her opinions about working with top directors, launching her own production company, and the state of the entertainment business for older women and women of color. If you watch Kara Swisher, you expect her opinions about the best and worst new media products, the latest Meta and X shenanigans, and which new media outlets are actually worth your time. 

When it comes to your own workplace activities, if you can’t express informed and confident opinions about the subject(s) at hand, you can’t gain trust with anyone (that includes stakeholders, Senior leadership and your own peers). Opinions make it clear that you have studied an issue from many angles, and arrived at a strong point of view. They allow others to quickly understand your message, and they become an important part of your personal brand. Many of my clients have spent years hanging back, refusing to speak up even though they have valuable opinions to offer. This leaves them feeling unseen, unheard and unappreciated. Don’t make this mistake!

The language of your opinions matters. You can take time before meetings and presentations to craft strong, confident words that get your point across. When I work with clients on this task, we use “The Three Cs”, which stands for Clear, Concise and Compelling. Make sure that you speak up when expressing your opinions, so that everyone in the room understands that you should be taken seriously. Don’t use qualifiers or minimizers when you speak, and don’t use uptalk at the end of your sentence (That’s when everything you say? Comes out sounding like a question? Because you go up in pitch at the end of every sentence?).

Next time I’ll outline the second of the Four Power Communication Skills. Please feel free with questions, and reach out to me if you’d like to book a Power Voice or Power Communication training for the women in your workplace. I love hearing from you!

Nine Power Career Habits for Women

In my job I get to meet and work with extraordinary women from around the world. Some are in high leadership positions, and some are striving to achieve that level. In any case, they work extremely hard, and I learn as much from them as they do from me. Because I work across multiple sectors and industries including tech, law, finance, construction, nonprofits, politics and startups, I get a bird's-eye view of the power habits that they consistently engage with on a daily basis. These are actions that boost both their career power and their personal stamina, so that they can fulfill their full potential without burning out. Here are their nine most common Power Habits:

1. Reserving time for exploring their curiosity: More than almost any other Power Habit, this one leads to the most everyday career satisfaction. Reserving 20% of your work week to investigate work-related ideas, trends, or interests that spark your curiosity engages your brain in new ways that can yield powerful results. Take 3 hours on a Friday morning to read what your industry’s leaders, thinkers, and doers are interested in, or follow your own hunch and dive deep into it. You could discover your next game-changing idea, or stumble on a solution to a complex problem, but at the very least you’ll feel fully engaged with something new.

2. Taking all their vacation days: Yes, really! It’s a simple but extremely effective way to reduce your chances of burning out. Removing yourself from your everyday context and enjoying new kinds of activities can be wonderfully restorative, but you don’t have to do anything but relax by a pool or stroll the streets of a new city. Taking ALL your vacation days gives your brain plenty of time to completely unplug from work and be in the present moment, so you can return refreshed and ready to rock. 

3. Planning post-project downtime: Not the same thing as a big vacation, but equally important. If you’ve been grinding away for weeks or months on a big project that has finally launched, it’s a good time to step back and breathe for awhile. Pushing yourself beyond your limits will only lead to shoddy work and endless burnout. Taking an extra day for your weekend at the end of an intense work period will help you reset and recharge. No apologies!

4. Engaging with professionals outside their industry: You may think it’s wise to keep your social focus narrow, but if you want to achieve maximum career impact it’s best to connect with people in other sectors. Their perspective on your industry, your company and/or your products can be invaluable. You’ll also get to learn what’s happening inside their own industries, and gain insight into how markets move and morph according to their industry trends. My clients who do this are able to make big jumps into other industries with relative ease.

5. Connecting, not networking: If you dread the thought of networking and have never gained any viable results, try reframing yourself as a connector of people and resources. Look around in your current networks and see who needs what. You might be able to provide a new job lead, a reference for a service professional, or a potent article or other resource that helps someone advance their understanding of a complex problem. Think of these as deposits in the bank of your professional network. Once you become known as a powerful connector you can start making withdrawals in the form of introductions to people who can help you advance your own career. Some of my clients actually track their connecting activity in a dedicated spreadsheet, so that they can keep track of how the flow of energy is moving.

6. Daily decompressing: You already know this one, right? Meditation, exercise, neighborhood walks without anything in your ears, or diving into a good work of fiction are simple actions that can yield powerful results, but only if you do them daily. Many of my clients have an end-of-work ritual, something that signifies that they’re done for the day, like taking a 15-minute walk, listening (or dancing!) to a favorite song, or changing into lounge clothes. Small, daily habits can help you decompress and let go of tension that accumulates throughout the day.

7. Planning for stress: My high-level clients do this action before it’s needed, so they can anticipate their needs in an emergency, and have everything ready to go. Assemble all your (and your family’s) healthcare providers, prescription information, support services (like babysitters, grocery delivery, house cleaners, etc), and other relevant info on a giant spreadsheet that you share with family and trusted friends. In case of a genuine emergency, the kind that requires a sudden and unknown amount of time off, your info is easily accessible to those who can help. Don’t forget to add your favorite stress remedies (things like the number of a good takeout place, your favorite kind of chocolate or special treat, or even your favorite book) so that you have plenty of resources to help you get through. 

8. Forensic project analyzing: Some companies have this action baked into their culture, but some don’t do a very thorough job, and some don’t do it at all. The benefits of tracking what went right and/or wrong about a big project are many, but analyzing mistakes is an especially valuable learning tool that you don’t want to miss. Some of my clients form small “forensic teams” with co-workers that create simple reports about each major launch from the perspective of their larger team or group. This data can be harnessed to your advantage during performance reviews and job interviews, but it can also give you powerful insight into ways that your company could improve your department’s overall performance, and maybe even that of the whole company. 

9. Tracking wins, big and small: You can turn this into yet another spreadsheet, or you can open a simple doc and list each of your personal work wins as they come up (along with the date and other relevant info.) Most of these will likely be your contributions to work projects and/or events, but some of them could be small, personal things that no one else can see but you. For example, if you are someone who is terrified of conflict, but you managed to successfully resolve an ongoing work conflict with a colleague, add it to the list. Refer to the list when you’re preparing for performance reviews, but also glance at it when you’re in a moment of low confidence. Seeing all your wins grouped together can give you a boost, and remind you that this, too shall pass. My clients who do this action always seem to have greater career satisfaction than those who don’t. I’ve actually started doing it myself!

I hope you find this helpful. Please reach out to me for more info about my Power Voice for Career Women group trainings and private session packages. Love to hear your comments and answer your questions below!

Four Career-Boosting Words

As I mentioned in my previous post, the language we use to describe our career, and the stories we tell ourselves about it, can greatly shape our trajectory. Whenever I’m giving a Power Voice training to a group of women, I listen carefully to their words and reflect them back, so that each woman can hear herself clearly. What I often discover is that there are 4 magic words that are missing from the language they use to describe how they want to advance in their careers. 

This type of language occurs in performance reviews and job interviews, but it can also be present during daily one-on-one dialogue with managers and/or Senior leadership. In a nutshell, anytime you’re expressing what you want to accomplish in your current role, and especially what you’d like to do in your career trajectory, you need to use the 4 Magic Words:

“So that I can….”

Here’s how you can put the 4 Magic Words to work in a performance review. After you and your manager are done discussing your recent job performance, you can then introduce the subject of what you want to do going forward, both in your current role and in your overall career. That’s when the 4 Magic Words come into play. First I’ll show you how your communication looks and sounds without them: 

“Next quarter I want to shift my focus away from compiling weekly product reports, and toward seeking out new trends for our products.

This is a clear, concise sentence. But it doesn’t give enough context for your request, or create excitement around the action you propose to take. Generating emotions like excitement and interest are crucial for stakeholder buy-in, and without the 4 Magic Words you won’t get much impact. Here’s how they can help:

“Next quarter I want to shift my focus away from compiling weekly product reports, and toward seeking out new trends for our products, so that I can identify new markets and help drive greater growth.”

See the difference? Now you’ve painted a clear and compelling picture of what you want to accomplish, and what kind of result you want to get. This sentence also shows that you have long-term vision, and that you’re thinking about the overall health of the company, not just your place inside it. Demonstrating this type of initiative and vision can help you stand out and stay competitive in a crowded company landscape. 

When you’re in a job interview (which is actually a co-interview between you and your potential new employer), it’s especially important to paint a vivid picture of what you hope to accomplish in the new role, so that they can understand how you see yourself and your own career potential. Setting expectations up front can also help you achieve greater success in your new role. Here’s an example of before and after the 4 Magic Words in this context:

“In this role I would concentrate on building an experienced team.”

“In this role I would concentrate on building an experienced team, so that I take our product development to a global level, and generate at least 30% more revenue worldwide.”

That’s a big improvement in context which includes a self-appointed metric (make sure you can back this up with examples of your previous successes), and a vivid picture of how your action would benefit the overall company in the long term. Positioning yourself as the leader of this action signals that you have confidence in your ability to get the job done (again, back it up with past success!).

Those in leadership positions can also benefit from using a variation on the 4 Magic Words. Many high-level leaders I work with are very consumed with high-level language, which often involves long acronyms, strange metaphors, and complex data analysis that is boring at best, and incomprehensible at worst. If your language is too obtuse you might be perceived as gatekeeping valuable information about goals and objectives. In order to gain the trust of everyone in your company’s ecosystem, you need to be able to articulate your vision in a compelling way that engages everyone, not just the other high-level leaders in your circle. Also, as a leader you set the tone for your company’s overall work culture. Hiding your own enthusiasm and passion for the company’s goals could lead to a dry, unfulfilling, and unengaged work environment where employees don’t feel connected to a larger sense of purpose. So instead of something like this:

“Our primary focus in the next 18 months should be boosting our DNRS backlog while incorporating T-48 and R-49 components.”

You can use this variation on the 4 Magic Words to clarify the purpose of your proposed action, and drive excitement for what it will accomplish:

“Our primary focus in the next 18 months should be boosting our DNRS backlog while incorporating T-48 and R-49 components, so that we can create new markets and work toward our goal of achieving a 12% market share.”

I advise my clients to use clear, concise and compelling language in all their professional communication. Most people can learn to be clear and concise, but being compelling takes a lot more effort. Adding the 4 Magic Words will help you get there. Contact me for info about all my Power Voice group trainings and private session packages. I love hearing from you!

Change Your Language, Change Your Career

Whenever a new client comes for their first session, I always ask a few simple intake questions about their career history, so I can better understand the context that they come from. Often they will tell me a story that sounds something like this: 

“My college had an internship program that sent me to work part-time at a company, and when I graduated they offered me a full-time role. I was in that role for a few years, and then a woman above me went on maternity leave and I took over for her. When that was done another team had an opening, so did some work for them, until one of their managers quit and I filled in for a bit. Later that year a headhunter found me on LinkedIn and asked me to interview for a few jobs, and I got one of those roles at a bigger company where I stayed for a few years. Then an old college friend told me she was leaving her position at ______ and asked if I would want to interview, so I did. I got that job and I’ve been in my current role at _____ for ten years.”

Now, at first glance this may seem fine. But look again: do you see the problem? What’s missing is a strong sense of personal agency. This version of the story sounds like something that happened to her, rather than something that she herself engineered, with full intention and engagement.

Whenever a client tells me this kind of story, I know we have some serious Power Voice work to do. Inevitably she will have difficulty expressing her opinions and points in a confident, authoritative way. She probably won’t speak up very much during meetings, and will usually shun work presentations, fearing that she won’t be able to handle the pressure. She might even fail to speak up strongly for her work in performance reviews. Yet she will also experience an enormous amount of frustration, feeling unseen, unheard and unappreciated by her peers and those who can advance her career. 

It’s no surprise that many career women are struggling in this way. Male-dominated sectors like tech, law, finance, science, and politics can feel terribly intimidating. But even workplaces that have achieved gender equity can feel inhospitable to women’s skills, knowledge, and expertise if the women employed there don’t feel confident and connected to each other. Solidarity is strength, and shared experience is powerful. My “Power Voice for Career Women” trainings function as team-building exercises for groups of women, as they learn new communication skills together, and share their experiences. 

One of the things we talk about in my “Power Voice” trainings is the concept of personal agency, and how that can be applied to your career story. Claiming full agency over your career choices is a powerful way to shift your mindset and boost your self-confidence, so you can start speaking up for all your hard work and get noticed by those who can advance your career. Agency starts with re-framing the language of your personal story to reflect each moment when you made a distinct choice. For example, here is the previous story re-framed with agency:

“In college I chose an internship program that came with a part-time role at Company X, and when I graduated I accepted a full-time role with them. One of my managers went on maternity leave and I stepped up to take over for her. During that time another team noticed my work, and I jumped over to them when the leave was done. I liked the people on that team, but I was seeking a bigger challenge, so I interviewed for a bigger role at Company Y, and accepted their offer. I worked on big projects with them for a few years that drove revenue by over 30%. Then an old friend from college, who was leaving her role at Company Z, suggested I apply for her position. I got that role and have been working my way through Company Z for the past ten years. What I’d like to do next is….”

See the difference? This version has more action verbs, more details, and an overall sense of agency that highlights her choices. If you can reframe your own story this way, you'll automatically start to feel more powerful, and act with greater confidence, especially as you look ahead at the next part of your career.

To be clear, there might have been moments on your career path that didn’t feel entirely within your control. Companies downsize, layoffs occur, and people get transferred or demoted. You might have had a period of personal illness that took you out of the workforce, or maybe your maternity leave didn’t go as planned, and you needed much more time to recover from giving birth. (NOTE: It’s important to acknowledge that some systems actively work to oppress women's contributions, and their very existence inside those systems. If you are stuck in that situation, get out as fast as you can!). If you feel that harm that may have been done to your career (and your confidence!), please take time to grieve and heal if you need to.

Once you’re ready, applying the language of personal agency to those moments when you might have felt helpless can help you get some power back. You can take that power forward on your path, whenever you tell your story to yourself and others. Changing your story can change your career, as you start to project a sense of radiant confidence and personal power that helps others see you in new ways that can lead to new opportunities.

Please contact me for more information about my "Power Voice for Career Women" group trainings and private session packages. Leave your questions in the comments, I love hearing from you!

How Women Can Lead With Their Expertise

My clients come from all different sectors including tech, law, finance, construction, education, and politics. Learning about the challenges they face on their career path, and helping them to overcome them, keeps me inspired and hopeful about the future of women in the workplace. But there are some things that are hard to handle, and one of them is downright heartbreaking. It’s the way that women struggle with showing up in the workplace as experts in their field

There are many factors that contribute to how we navigate the professional systems around us. Women are generally not socially conditioned to put our expertise front-and-center. Even if we want to, the gender imbalance of experts in our culture can make it hard to locate inspiring examples of women who are at the top of their game. Sexist work environments can make women feel too vulnerable to risk drawing attention to our skills, knowledge, and expertise. Man of my clients have spent most of their career keeping their heads down and working around the clock, without any boundaries around their mental or physical health, hoping that their hard work will “speak for itself”. 

I hope you already know that is NOT a viable career strategy! You have to draw the right kind of attention to your work, and stand by it, at every stage of your career. Especially if you’re on a management/leadership track, or have already achieved a high-level role, it is crucial that you can represent your work, and yourself, in a way that builds trust and confidence with those around you. 

Here are 4 tips for leading with your expertise:

1. Recognize the expectations of a higher-level role: once you achieve this kind of position you are expected to show up as an expert, with full confidence and faith in your own abilities. Get used to pushing your ideas and opinions into the center of the dialogue, and be prepared to defend them robustly. Even if your hypothesis turns out to be wrong, an expert always has the courage of their convictions. You can always pivot quickly with new information, and incorporate it into your project going forward. 

2. Show your work in an impactful way: don’t make the mistake of “never letting them see you sweat!” Women’s hard work is too often overlooked or dismissed. When you make a project presentation, include one slide that briefly outlines your research path, and a small overview of the journey to your conclusions. Be careful not to reveal unique resources that give you a competitive advantage, but you can include the insights you gained from them. This is a crucial piece that I create with my clients who need help on their work presentations.

3. Present your game-changing ideas regularly: Experts are defined by their expertise. Often the best game-changers come from questioning iron-clad assumptions, and taking a different approach to them. What do you see, hear, and feel is coming next in your industry? Use your skills and abilities to do some trend-spotting, and make some projections for how your company could stay ahead of the curve. Present your ideas in a strong, compelling pitch deck, and be prepared to answer intense questions.

4. Remember that “less is more” in professional communication: Over-explaining and over-correcting can have the effect of weakening your points and arguments. Stay calm and lead with simple facts that back up your argument. Treat your words as if they carry weight, because they do. 

I advise my clients to get comfortable with pushback on their expertise. Friction is a sign of influence, as others work through your challenges to their assumptions, and come to appreciate your unique perspective on the task(s) at hand. Resist the urge to take care of anyone’s feelings! Trust that they are adults who can handle their own emotions. Professional conduct is standing strong in your own integrity, and allowing others to do the same. 

Please contact me with questions, or if you’d like to book a group “Power Voice for Career Women” training for the women in your workplace.

Three Ways to *Genuinely* Empower Older Women Workers

Recently a large-scale study on the effects of ageism on working women was published in the Harvard Business Review. The authors demonstrated that a woman will face ageism at literally every single age that she is employed in the workforce. This is not an abstract concept. It is a wide-spread systemic issue that translates to lived experience for millions of working women (I’m 100% certain that you’ve already had your own experience with this issue!). 

In my career I’ve observed women in all kinds of environments, including tech, law, finance, construction, nonprofits, education and startups. I’ve taught my Power Voice methods in over 200 workplaces, and I’ve gotten a closeup look at the way that many companies attempt to apply gender-equity policies in real time. Because of my extensive experience, occasionally companies will ask me to consult on the effectiveness of their policies, so they can make improvements that will have a lasting impact. 

What I always point out to them is that especially for women who are approaching or existing in middle-age, the combined forces of sexism and ageism can feel especially heavy. Companies need to keep in mind that this pressure awaits all women, and the sooner they address it with corrective policies, the better. Here, for the first time, I am publishing the most common suggestions that I offer when I consult. Please note that these are general concepts, and that some employers require a much more complex treatment of their gender equity policies.  

Here are ways to support and empower older female workers:

1. Actively seek their advice on major decision making. The older women in your organization are a huge untapped resource of skills, knowledge and true wisdom, and the sooner you leverage it, the better. Remember that women will often keep to themselves as a kind of, "go along to get along" workplace strategy, and this might prevent them from actively volunteering their thoughts. Request their input during meetings, and/or reach out to them offline. Make time in your schedule to hear their input, and give them credit when you use their ideas. 

2. Create a robust Women’s ERG group, and save it as a line item in your ongoing yearly budget. Don’t skimp on it! It’s an investment in the long-term health and wellness of all the women in your company. Think of it as a combination of ongoing education and community support. Send out surveys to the group to gauge their interests, and allot enough cash in the budget to hire quality coaches, educators and speakers who can provide corresponding trainings and activities. This is often how I am hired to come and give Power Voice trainings to groups of women. I can tell that a company is investing in women when I see a broad mix of ages in their Women’s Group. 

3. Give older, experienced women the flexibility to spend 20% of their work time on projects that spark their curiosity. When all of that knowledge and wisdom is aimed in the right direction, it can yield powerful results. This is something that at least 75% of my older women clients long for. Set them free to learn, grow, and innovate.

I love to speak with employers about ways they can improve workplace conditions for older women. Email me for more info, or if you’d like to book a Power Voice for Career Women group training for the women in your company.

The Trap Of the Blind Mentor

My client Erica*, a 30ish woman with cropped blond hair and a sweet southern drawl, has been working since she was a teenager. In high school she did an internship program at a software company in Houston, doing simple data entry. After a few months of this mind-numbing work, she asked for a meeting with the company’s VP of sales, to see if he would be her mentor and help her find a new direction. Under his mentorship she transferred to the sales department, and thrived there for four years, eventually accepting her first full-time position. 

You can see how much spirit and fire Erica has from this simple story of her 16-year-old self. She skipped college and went straight to work in various companies, becoming a sales expert who could be counted on to raise revenue everywhere she went. Eventually she moved to LA, where she is employed in the sales department of a movie studio, leading sales of video games derived from the studio’s movie characters. 

When Erica came to see me she was tired of feeling stalled in her career, but uncertain of what the problem was. Her work was regularly praised, and she’d recently project managed a big upgrade in her team’s software, which had led to a 20% increase in sales. She wanted to rise up the company ladder and become a Senior sales project manager. There were already some women in those positions, so she knew it was possible. But despite her hard work and best efforts at networking, nothing was panning out. 

Erica was willing to try anything. I asked her if she’d ever worked on speech and presentation skills before, and a lightbulb switched on above her head. She told me that her mentor had always considered them to be “soft skills” not worth investing in. This sparked my own lightbulb moment. I asked her about her mentor’s career background. She said that he graduated from an Ivy league college where he was very active in his fraternity, and was proud of how those connections had led to his first few jobs. Eventually a former frat buddy, the VP of a Texas tech company, hired him as his replacement, where he remained until retirement.

No wonder her mentor didn’t think public speaking was important! This man’s privileged connections had been driving his whole career. He hadn’t had to worry much about speaking up for himself, because he’d always been bolstered by the recommendations of his friends (it’s also important to keep in mind that white men are, by default, seen as more competent than everyone else, leading to even greater advantages). Erica hadn’t been to college, or joined an elite club. She’d relied on her own steam to get her where she was, inside a global company. All she needed now was a way to stand out from the crowd.

Erica and I made a 3-step plan. First we worked on her Power Voice, to make sure that she had the skills to speak confidently in any situation. We also created some Power Communication strategies, so she could demonstrate a high degree of both competence and warmth in all of her professional communication. Then we examined the schedule for her company’s conference, and Erica applied to speak at one of the events. She was accepted, and we prepared a PowerPoint that outlined the details of the project she’d so successfully managed, so that other teams in the company could adopt the same practices. 

That was last Spring, and since then Erica has been invited to present to many other teams. She just completed her annual performance review, which included not just a promotion but a substantial raise. When I asked her how it felt to take a big leap forward, she said, Better than I ever imagined!

*name and some details changed for privacy
On September 13th I'm going to help 12 women take their own leap forward. Want to be one of them? Grab your ticket HERE.

The Peanut Butter Mistake

A good dentist is, in my experience, hard to find. A few years ago I had a great one in downtown Seattle, a woman in her 50s whose entire office was run by women, a dental service Matriarchy. Patients loved coming there, and they would often show up early to sit in the waiting room and bask in the office’s warm vibes. 

During one of my visits, as I sat with the other patients waiting for our turn, I started chatting with a woman in her 70s who was knitting a gorgeous purple scarf. Her eyes never once left her stitches as we talked, and I could tell that she was quite nervous. During our conversation she mentioned that she’d had to keep the scarf away from her 5-year-old grandson, who was currently visiting her at her home. They had spent the afternoon making peanut butter with a high-speed blender, using fresh, unshelled peanuts that she’d bought at the farmer’s market. They’d had to shell the nuts before throwing them into the contraption. They snacked on the peanuts as they worked, and the woman had used her teeth to open the peanut shells, causing a crack in one of her crowns.

Instead of just a simple tooth cleaning she would have to have some repair work done on the tooth with the broken crown. She told me her toothache was terrible, but she didn’t like “being under” the anesthetic that the dentist used, so she was dreading the process. 

Just then I was called into the back rooms for my cleaning. Once I was situated in the chair the hygienist did the job, then told me to wait for the dentist to come and review the state of my mouth.

In the room next door I could hear the dentist talking with the knitting woman. The knitter was explaining her situation, retelling the story of the unfortunate peanut incident:

“I was eating peanuts with my grandson and I cracked my teeth on them.” 

The dentist replied, “Well if your teeth are suddenly cracking on a peanut, we might have a lot of work in front of us.”

The woman attempted to explain again: “I don’t usually eat peanuts but they were fresh and I was hungry.”

The dentist replied, “In any case, raw peanuts are soft and shouldn’t cause any problems to your teeth. We’d better get to work!” 

The woman sighed in resignation as the dentist fired up the anesthetic machine. 

Do you see the problem?

There was a crucial detail missing from this conversation, one that directly impacted the way that the dentist viewed the woman’s situation. Each of them had an image of the peanut in question, but the images didn’t match. The dentist was working with imprecise information, which could have been easily corrected if she had bothered to ask her patient for more specifics. The woman could have also bridged the communication gap by mentioning that she’d cracked her crown on the hard peanut shell, not the soft nut. 

I remind all my clients never to assume that someone can read your mind about important details in any part of your professional communication. It’s part of your job to speak, email, text and Slack with clarity and precision. You can even say or write, “For the sake of clarity, I want to point out that…”. Make it easy for the person you’re communicating with to understand your meaning. You’ll become known as a trouble-shooter who cares about details and is valuable on any team, project or decision. 

On the other hand, it’s also important for you to ask precise questions of others, so that you can have all the relevant information to work with. When you’re having a conversation with someone about an important issue, let them talk for a while about it, then ask them, “Are there any other details that stand out to you, or that you feel could be relevant to the issue?”. You’ll be surprised what people will offer if given the chance! Knowing these extras can help you gain a significant advantage as you go forward in your process. EMAIL ME for questions about all my Power Voice for Career Women private packages and group workplace trainings.

I'm Featured in "Scary Mommy" Magazine

This morning my friend Alisa Kennedy Jones (acclaimed author of bestseller, “Gotham Girl Interrupted: My Misadventures in Motherhood, Love and Epilepsy”) included my coaching work in an article she wrote about midlife women. It’s funny, honest, and instructive, and you can read it HERE.

Jenny's Taco Bell Breakthrough

My client Jenny*, a woman in her 30s with slate-gray eyes and a warm smile, had a flawless professional resume. She grew up in a multi-cultural household and spoke 3 languages. She’d studied International Communications in college, and then had gotten a law degree so she would be “valuable to any employer”, as she told me during our first session. 

For the past 4 years Jenny had been employed at one of the biggest international business consulting firms in the world. She liked her coworkers, and her manager gave her a ton of autonomy, which are two factors that can greatly contribute to overall job satisfaction. But Jenny was unhappy. She had been stuck at the same level for 3 of her 4 years at the company, with no significant promotions. She was frustrated and confused, and uncertain if she should quit her job or stay and try to make progress up the company’s ladder.

I asked Jenny to share her most recent performance review with me. According to Jenny, during the meeting with her manager, he had barely glanced at her metrics. He just gave her a “thumbs up” without any further instruction about how she could improve or grow in her role. She left his office feeling even more frustrated. 

I was stumped by the discrepancy between the good feedback about Jenny’s work and her stalled progress at the company, but I asked her not to give up. I knew we would find the missing piece of the puzzle.

Our next session (by Zoom) took place during Jenny’s lunch hour. She appeared onscreen with a huge bag from Taco Bell. When I asked her about it she told me she didn’t actually like the food, but her coworker had offered to buy her lunch, and since he was treating her, she didn’t feel like she could ask for what she really wanted. 

That’s when it happened: Jenny’s face completely changed. She looked stunned, like she’d just walked right into a wall. 

I asked her what was happening, and she told me this: “I think maybe I haven’t been asking for the things I want at work!” I asked her if she’d ever told her boss that she wanted to be considered for a higher position. “I never have,” she said, “I thought my work would speak for itself!” 

You’d be surprised how much I hear women say this. Allowing your work to “speak for itself” is NOT a good career strategy, especially for women who are employed in highly male-dominated industries and companies. Speaking up for yourself and advocating for what you want next on your career path is crucial. Think of it like this: right now there are people in your work environment who would love to help you climb up to the next level. But like you, they’re extremely busy and consumed with their own tasks and projects. They might not see what’s right in front of them, namely your hard work and career potential, unless you draw their attention to it!

Jenny and I decided to craft a short Power Pitch that she could use with her boss to let him know she wanted to move up. We gathered stats from her performance review and threw in more recent data, including a ton of client testimonials that rated Jenny’s work as “Excellent”. Jenny booked a sit-down meeting with her boss, and made her case. He didn’t say much during her presentation. He seemed to be thinking about something. The next day he gave Jenny one of his biggest clients to work with on her own. She was deeply engaged with the work for 4 months and received high praise from the client. When the job was done she went to her boss and told him it was now or never: she wanted a promotion, or she would leave the company. 

I’m sure you can guess what happened next. Jenny was promoted to the next level in the company, and 6 months later she was promoted again. I checked in with her recently to see how she’s doing, and she told me that the best part of her job is mentoring the younger women coming up behind her. She has a soft touch, but gives them one piece of stern advice: “Speak up for your damn work!”. She also organizes monthly lunches for them, and always asks what they want to eat (spoiler alert: it’s never Taco Bell!).

*name and some details changed for privacy

Email me for more info about my Power Voice for Career Women private session packages and group trainings. Click around the site for more.

Shauna's Toxic Boss Breakthrough

My client Shauna*, a shy woman in her early 30s, came to her first Power Voice session with something on her mind. Shauna is employed at a biotech company that has grown exponentially during the past few years, and although the industry itself is heavily male-dominated, this company has a program that gets women on a leadership track, which creates a fair amount of women at the top. 

Yet Shauna wasn't happy with her work environment. She had finally realized that her boss, a woman in her 50s and the VP of their company, was toxic. There was no doubt in Shauna's mind: her boss was mean, heartless and demanding. 

Shauna was so sure of this problem that she was about to give her two-weeks notice. She wanted to spend our sessions working on job interview skills, which she felt would help her shine in her search for a new employer. Now, I love coaching these types of skills. I have a great track record of helping clients achieve their career milestones. It’s exciting to watch women strategize about their dream job, and help them marshall their Power Voice so they can advocate for themselves and make maximum impact in job interviews. 

But something in Shauna’s story didn’t feel right, and I asked her to elaborate on her description of her boss’ faults. 

What she told me was this:

When Shauna was in a group meeting with her boss, she felt unfairly “singled out”. But when I asked what her boss would do, Shauna said she would make her repeat the ideas she had brought to their one-on-one meetings. 

Whenever Shauna was feeling under the weather and had to stay home from the office, her mean boss would micro-manage her with too many emails and calls. But when I asked what they discussed, Shauna said her boss kept her updated on the progress of various projects that Shauna oversaw.

Lastly, Shauna felt that her boss didn’t really care about her, and wouldn't make time to discuss Shauna's progress through the company or recommend her for the leadership track program. But when I asked her if she'd requested a recommendation, she said she hadn't thought to do it.

That's when Shauna had a breakthrough about how she could use her Power Voice at her current role. I'll share her insights with you here:

1. Instead of feeling resentful that she had to perform “in the spotlight” during group meetings, she could learn some Power Performance skills to calm her nerves and keep her steady under pressure.

2. Instead of feeling irritated that her boss bothered her too much when she was working from home, she could tell her boss what she needed her boss to be updated on.

3. Instead of feeling aggrieved that her boss didn’t care about her career progress, she could ask directly for a recommendation, and step up her all her Power Voice skills so she could make maximum impact in that kind of role.

Toxic bosses exist! If you have one, you should get out ASAP. But sometimes, if your skills and confidence are limited, it can limit your perspective. You might not see the situation clearly, or recognize an opportunity that's right in front of you. 

For help with job interviews, work presentations, performance reviews and confidence coaching, email me directly for rates and availability. I love hearing from you!

*name and some details changed for privacy

Martelle's (Father's) Breakthrough

Clients find me in all kinds of ways. Usually it’s through other clients, who are kind enough to refer their networks to me. The majority of these people are, as I’m sure you can already guess, women. But every once in a while I get an approach from a man who has seen me give a talk about my work strengthening women’s voices, and wants me to help a woman that they know. Would it surprise you to learn that the majority of these men are seeking help for their own daughters?

Last month I was contacted by a father I’ll call Eddie. His daughter, a 24-year-old woman I’ll call Martelle, was finishing her first year of work at a big financial company. Her annual performance review was coming up, which came with an opportunity for her to present a report about everything she’d accomplished that year, and ask for a raise. 

Eddie wanted me to “fix” his daughter’s voice. He thought she sounded “like a little girl” and needed to “start making a bigger impact when she spoke up at work”. I told Eddie to ASK his daughter if she wanted some Power Voice coaching, and if she did I would help her prepare for her upcoming performance review. 

Martelle was excited to level-up her professional communication skills, and we got started on her presentation. Her progress in the company was impressive. When Martelle had arrived at the company a year ago, they were still reeling from a giant mess they’d made the previous year. They had accidentally sent out the first draft of an email to clients that promised all kinds of things the company wasn’t yet prepared to deliver, causing mass confusion and chaos both internally and externally (I’d actually heard about The Big Mess from another of my clients who worked at the same firm, and it was just as terrible as you can imagine!). The company was still dealing with the fallout, and as a result many of its everyday tasks and processes were being neglected.

Martelle took one look at the Big Mess and got right to work. She sorted out which tasks were still undone, and created a dedicated project to complete them, enlisting a few of her colleagues for help. She gave regular updates to her boss and the company’s Senior management, and answered all their questions about what to expect with the project. She led her 5-person team through the whole thing, and by the end they had completed almost 80% of the outstanding tasks. During the course of the year Martelle had also come up with a new system for managing internal projects that had been widely adopted by her co-workers, and even her own manager. 

Martelle and I crafted a great slide deck that showed each step of her progress, and made a great case for a salary increase. She sent the deck to her father so he could give her encouragement and wish her luck. Once the performance review was all over and Martelle had gotten the raise she hoped for, Eddie called to thank me for helping out. During our conversation he revealed that he’d had a personal breakthrough about his daughter, and about women everywhere, and here’s what he told me:

1. That his personal bias against his daughter’s way of speaking had kept him from recognizing her extraordinary accomplishments. (BTW: Each of us has our own developmental process that changes both our communication pattern and the sound of our voice, sometimes quite dramatically. Every generation has its own unique style of communicating, and we also have our own individual quirks. The things we say and the way we say them evolve over time. The way you speak now could be unrecognizable to your future self, and that’s perfectly natural!)

2. That he might have carried this same bias into all of his conversations with the women in his own workplace for decades. 

3. That from now on he would check himself and resolve to listen better to the women around him.

Breakthroughs can happen to us at any time. Eddie’s is a good reminder that we continue to learn, grow, change and evolve. When men support and amplify women’s voices it increases the chances that we will thrive (and that support is needed now more than ever!). 

For help with work presentations, email me directly for rates and availability. I love hearing from you!