©2022 Alicia Dara
My parents were professional symphony musicians in Vancouver, Canada. Five nights a week they would put on elegant black clothing, grab their instruments, and walk out onto the giant stage that was their workplace. The venue could hold 2,600 people, but even when it was only half-full the feeling of the crowd was intense. When people ask me how I’m able to stand up and speak confidently in front of an audience, I always say I learned from watching the orchestra do it every night.
Symphony concerts are different from all other kinds of live shows. There is a strict protocol that everyone must follow, including the audience: they must be very quiet, and hold their applause until the orchestra has finished playing the entire piece of music. But that’s not all: there are no mistakes of any kind allowed by the musicians. Ever! This may seem extreme, but it makes sense in the context of the incredibly complex music, which has different parts for all four sections of the orchestra. There are also individual parts, called solos, and as the orchestra plays through the music each soloist must appear in exactly the right place at the right time. If any person in the orchestra makes a mistake, it can stand out like lightning in a clear sky.
You may be thinking: OK, but what if a musician does make a big mistake?
I learned the answer from a woman I’ll call Nina*, a skilled cellist with high cheekbones and a shiny blond bob. Nina was born and raised in Russia, and studied at the best music school in Moscow. Her training gave her a strong musical foundation, but it wasn’t big on emotional playing. Nevertheless, when Nina arrived in Vancouver and auditioned for her place in the orchestra, her talent was recognized. During her second year the conductor asked her to play a solo in a difficult piece by Beethoven. A solo part is meant to be emotional, and the player gets a chance to express themself fully when they play it. Nina practiced diligently, and on the night of the concert she was feeling confident and ready.
She played through the first part of the piece with the orchestra, carefully reading the sheet music on the stand in front of her. When it came time for her solo, she closed her eyes and tried to focus on emotion. Unfortunately she miscounted the rhythm, and came in a full two measures early!
That’s like arriving at your surprise party thirty minutes before it’s supposed to start: no one is ready, and everyone is angry that you caught them off guard and spoiled the whole thing. But that’s not all: the conductor, the orchestra and the entire 2,600 person audience heard her mistake!!
Nina’s embarrassment was like a hammer falling on her, and at the end of the concert she fled the stage quickly, packed up her cello, and went home to wait for a phone call dismissing her from the orchestra. She did get a call from the conductor, but he was empathetic and encouraged her to take two weeks off to get her courage back.
Eventually Nina was calm enough to see one thing clearly: apologizing wouldn’t be enough to earn back the trust of the orchestra. She needed a dedicated strategy to get her back in their good graces, and to propel her to the next level of her playing. Nina decided to take lessons with a legendary teacher who had a reputation for helping musicians tap into their deepest work. It was expensive, but she considered it an investment in her career as a musician. She started integrating the new techniques into her playing with the orchestra. After six months the difference was obvious, and the orchestra conductor once again asked her to play a solo.
This time she was ready. When the big ocean of music rose up in front of her, she took a deep breath and flowed into it like a surfer riding a wave. The sound of applause and the conductor’s praise didn’t even matter, because Nina’s strategy worked and she’d played better than ever, better than she thought she could.
When I asked Nina what she had learned from the whole experience, she said this: “If you’re going to recover from a big public mistake, you must have support! You can’t let shame and fear hold you back from learning the very lesson that can propel you forward. You have to have good help, and take it seriously.” Resilience comes from having the courage to recognize when we need help, and following through when it’s given.
So what could you do if you were no longer afraid of making huge mistakes? What is holding you back, and what kind of help do you need with it? What difference would it make to have help that sets you up for long-term success?
*name and some details changed for privacy