Whenever a new client comes for their first session, I always ask a few simple intake questions about their career history, so I can better understand the context that they come from. Often they will tell me a story that sounds something like this:
“My college had an internship program that sent me to work part-time at a company, and when I graduated they offered me a full-time role. I was in that role for a few years, and then a woman above me went on maternity leave and I took over for her. When that was done another team had an opening, so did some work for them, until one of their managers quit and I filled in for a bit. Later that year a headhunter found me on LinkedIn and asked me to interview for a few jobs, and I got one of those roles at a bigger company where I stayed for a few years. Then an old college friend told me she was leaving her position at ______ and asked if I would want to interview, so I did. I got that job and I’ve been in my current role at _____ for ten years.”
Now, at first glance this may seem fine. But look again: do you see the problem? What’s missing is a strong sense of personal agency. This version of the story sounds like something that happened to her, rather than something that she herself engineered, with full intention and engagement.
Whenever a client tells me this kind of story, I know we have some serious Power Voice work to do. Inevitably she will have difficulty expressing her opinions and points in a confident, authoritative way. She probably won’t speak up very much during meetings, and will usually shun work presentations, fearing that she won’t be able to handle the pressure. She might even fail to speak up strongly for her work in performance reviews. Yet she will also experience an enormous amount of frustration, feeling unseen, unheard and unappreciated by her peers and those who can advance her career.
It’s no surprise that many career women are struggling in this way. Male-dominated sectors like tech, law, finance, science, and politics can feel terribly intimidating. But even workplaces that have achieved gender equity can feel inhospitable to women’s skills, knowledge, and expertise if the women employed there don’t feel confident and connected to each other. Solidarity is strength, and shared experience is powerful. My “Power Voice for Career Women” trainings function as team-building exercises for groups of women, as they learn new communication skills together, and share their experiences.
One of the things we talk about in my “Power Voice” trainings is the concept of personal agency, and how that can be applied to your career story. Claiming full agency over your career choices is a powerful way to shift your mindset and boost your self-confidence, so you can start speaking up for all your hard work and get noticed by those who can advance your career. Agency starts with re-framing the language of your personal story to reflect each moment when you made a distinct choice. For example, here is the previous story re-framed with agency:
“In college I chose an internship program that came with a part-time role at Company X, and when I graduated I accepted a full-time role with them. One of my managers went on maternity leave and I stepped up to take over for her. During that time another team noticed my work, and I jumped over to them when the leave was done. I liked the people on that team, but I was seeking a bigger challenge, so I interviewed for a bigger role at Company Y, and accepted their offer. I worked on big projects with them for a few years that drove revenue by over 30%. Then an old friend from college, who was leaving her role at Company Z, suggested I apply for her position. I got that role and have been working my way through Company Z for the past ten years. What I’d like to do next is….”
See the difference? This version has more action verbs, more details, and an overall sense of agency that highlights her choices. If you can reframe your own story this way, you'll automatically start to feel more powerful, and act with greater confidence, especially as you look ahead at the next part of your career.
To be clear, there might have been moments on your career path that didn’t feel entirely within your control. Companies downsize, layoffs occur, and people get transferred or demoted. You might have had a period of personal illness that took you out of the workforce, or maybe your maternity leave didn’t go as planned, and you needed much more time to recover from giving birth. (NOTE: It’s important to acknowledge that some systems actively work to oppress women's contributions, and their very existence inside those systems. If you are stuck in that situation, get out as fast as you can!). If you feel that harm that may have been done to your career (and your confidence!), please take time to grieve and heal if you need to.
Once you’re ready, applying the language of personal agency to those moments when you might have felt helpless can help you get some power back. You can take that power forward on your path, whenever you tell your story to yourself and others. Changing your story can change your career, as you start to project a sense of radiant confidence and personal power that helps others see you in new ways that can lead to new opportunities.
Please contact me for more information about my "Power Voice for Career Women" group trainings and private session packages. Leave your questions in the comments, I love hearing from you!