All respect to working mothers of the Pandemic. I wrote this article “5 Power Skills for Working Mothers” on Thrive Global for you:
Are You Registered to Vote?
Words cannot describe the full measure of urgency about this upcoming election. The current administration has already wrought so much damage and suffering, both here and abroad. We can’t let this go on for another four years.
There is no more time for apathy. Democracy is not free. We create it with our compassion, with our raised voices, and with our votes.
Go to https://www.vote.org and register to vote. You can also get information about how to order your ballot by mail, and you can get election reminders. Saving Democracy will take every single one of us. Do it now!
All About Impostor Syndrome
Thrive Global just published an interview where I describe why I think Impostor Syndrome is over diagnosed. It takes you through the 5 steps I use with clients to determine if they actually have it, and what to do next.
Will You Join Me In These Actions?
Hello, everyone. Before I begin, let’s take three slow, deep breaths. Sit back in your chair, close your eyes, and relax everywhere. Breathe slowly and deeply, three times, allowing your breath to travel lightly and loosely.
See? That feels a bit calmer. Let’s keep doing it periodically throughout the day. As I remind my clients, slow deep breathing is Nature’s Xanax. Staying calm and grounded is important right now.
The state of our country (and the world) is dire, but there are some actions we can take in service of those who might need help. In my work as an activist I’ve learned that when everything feels out-of-control on a grand scale, it’s important (and soothing) to focus on smaller issues that are happening at the micro level in our community. Taking smaller actions can help us step up to bigger ones, and we can keep up this pattern going forward
Accordingly, I’ve been raising money for two orgs that I believe in. One is the Black Lives Matter Seattle Freedom Fund, which raises bail money for Black and Indigenous folks. In the wake of recent protest events in my city, there is a great for this assistance. If you can afford to, I’m asking all my Seattle and WA state community to consider matching my $50 donation HERE
The other org I just learned about today is Rachel Cargle’s Loveland Therapy Fund, which provides financial assistance nationally to Black women and girls seeking therapy. Their goal is to provide 1,000 women in 2020 with financial support for 4-8 therapy sessions. If you can afford to, please consider matching my $60 donation HERE
In addition to these orgs, some others that I regularly donate time and money to are (click each one for donation links): Planned Parenthood Action Fund, NARAL, the ACLU and Working Washington.
Our actions matter. Our fellow citizens need our help. I hope you will join me in these actions!
My very best to all, and please stay home and stay safe.
-Alicia
Update to My Community...
Hello, everyone. As we go through this huge transition that feels frightening and uncertain, I want to send out a message of love and support. I was born into a family and community of professional artists. From them I learned that we must keep changing and evolving in order to survive. I’ve been repeating this message over and over to my clients this week (and reminding myself at the same time). I’ve moved all my client appointments and group trainings online for now, and I’m excited about being able to serve everyone in this new way.
I’ve also been starting each client session by doing 3 deep, calming breaths with my clients. Deep breathing is Nature’s Xanax. It is an action that stimulates the parasympathetic nervous system, and can help us find our center and re-connect with the present moment. Now more than ever, the present moment is where we can show up as our best self, with our mind open to new lessons and solutions.
Lastly, I’ve been encouraging everyone to find time for feelings. Attempting to disown or discard the heavy emotions that can crop up during times like these can be even more unbalancing than expressing them. My mentors have always been crystal-clear on the importance of letting emotions periodically rise up and spill over, like a valve releasing pressure so it can continue doing its job. This is not a sign of weakness, but rather of self-care and self-respect. By honoring and expressing our emotions we can also stay in touch with our empathy, which is a priority as we go forward into this new paradigm together.
I hope you find this helpful. I believe in us!
My best to all,
-Alicia
"7 Tips for Becoming A Strong Public Speaker"
Thrilled to announce that The Select 7, an excellent lifestyle blog, just published my original article! I love this site and have gotten so much inspiration from their content (I check it every day!).
"Elizabeth Holmes and the Audacity of Women's Voices"
Thrive Global accepted my article about the extra burden of being “female in public”:
"5 Skills That Powerful Female CEO's Have in Common"
Here’s an article I just published on Medium. Are you a female start-up founder, or do you know one? Read this:
"What I Hear In Women's Voices That Reveals Their True Desires"
I’ve just published another essay about my work strengthening women’s voices. This one is in a magazine for women entrepreneurs. It’s the first time I’ve spoken publicly about this aspect of my coaching methods. If you’ve been my client you probably already know this, but if not you might be surprised!
A Day In the Life....
I’ve had some requests to talk about what a typical work day looks like for a professional speech and presentation coach. Here’s a glimpse:
Then I answer client emails and requests for my services. I also update my social media feeds (below is my new Facebook group for women in the tech sector, you can find it HERE). I love hearing from past and current clients about their successes!
My office hours are when I work with clients, both private and group. I just worked with the latest cohort of Seattle’s own Female Founders Alliance, coaching them on their pitches. They were a dream!
My most popular group training is “Public Speaking Bootcamp for Women” and the last one of this year is coming up on Friday December 6th from 4-6pm in downtown Seattle. I give away discount codes to everyone who signs my email list, so sign up now!
At night I usually have band practice or something related to my band Diamondwolf. Our new record just came out and you can get it now!
"Power Voice for Women in Tech" is Coming Soon!
I’ll be launching a brand-new online program specifically for women in the tech industry this fall. If you are a woman in the tech sector this is your happy place! For more information, sign up on my monthly email list on the right, and come on join my new Facebook group HERE.
"Sex, Power and Your Voice" is Coming to Your Inbox!
It’s a great time to sign up for my monthly email list! I’ve been working on a 3-part series of posts called, “Sex, Power and Your Voice” that I can’t wait to share with you. After 20+ years of coaching women’s voices, I’ve observed that there is a vital link between our sexuality, our safety, and our voice. I'n this exclusive series I”ll share some lessons I’ve learned and give you some exercises to help you find your Power Voice. I’ll also share some experiences I’ve had with clients, and a bit of my own story as well.
My mailing list is the ONLY place to get “Sex, Power and Your Voice”, so sign up on this page now!
Elizabeth Holmes and the Audacity of Women's Voices
By now we've all heard the story: a 19-year old Stanford dropout dupes a pantheon of big-money investors into giving billions to her phony blood-testing company, Theranos. After a whirlwind of accolades, features, and snuggle time with Oprah, Holmes' deception is unmasked by a whistleblower in her own company, and she is indicted by a federal grand jury on twelve separate counts of fraud. Currently awaiting sentencing, she is out of the public eye but very much in the public imagination, due in large part to HBO's documentary "The Inventor: Out for Blood in Silicon Valley" that was just released a few days ago. Among Holmes' fascinating characteristics, she apparently pitched her speaking voice down into a very low range, the better to appear authoritative when convincing people that her work was legit. In my work as a professional voice coach specializing in strengthening women's voices in the workplace, this is the kind of thing that I find infuriating. Not because there is anything inherently wrong with a woman dropping her voice, but because our entire society feels entitled to comment on this behavior, and to add it to the pile of judgement and condemnation of Holmes herself.
To be clear: in no way am I endorsing Holmes' crimes. What she did was wrong, and there are serious consequences to her actions that continue to unfold. She should be prosecuted to the full extent of the law. Yet altering one's voice is not a crime, and should not be regarded as such. Women, especially, need the freedom to experiment, play and discover our full voice, because we are societally conditioned to make our voice (and our bodies, opinions, and careers) smaller than those of men. Unfortunately society does not allow us to do so.
Here are two questions I put to every group of women that I coach: "Please raise your hand if you've ever been told that your voice is too high and feminine?" Inevitably about 50% of their hands go up. "Now raise it if you've been told that your voice is too low and masculine?" Then the other 50%. See the problem?? We are constantly being told how to be women. Either we are speaking too high (ie: girlish, feminine, and lacking in authority) or too low (ie mannish, masculine, and threatening). We can't win. This is why, when I'm coaching women's voices, I also coach them to push back against gendered feedback. It's important to note that we can and should be listening for valuable feedback about our voices that addresses things like volume, clarity, pacing and content. But anything with gender attached to it can go right into the trash.
By the way, there are extraordinary women in the public eye right now whose voices cannot be called low or masculine by any stretch of the imagination. Kirsten Gilibrand comes immediately to mind. The US senator just announced her campaign for presidency, and her voice, in its natural (higher) pitch, radiates presence, power and authority. If she became president she might actually reset our cultural belief that a low/masculine range is the default setting for projecting power. Wouldn't that be something!
As I've said numerous times: women's voices are always about women's power: how we feel about our power, how we broadcast our power to the material world, and how the world responds to that power. Holme's chose to use her power for evil instead of good. But all women deserve to experiment, play, and discover our voices, and our power, on our own terms.
BREAKING NEWS: "Public Speaking for Introverts" , an online course, is available for pre-order!
BREAKING NEWS and Updates
I’m coming to LA in March!! Ticket link below the video:
This event sells out fast, so grab your ticket for the LA Bootcamp:
More dates for “Public Speaking Bootcamp for Women” located on the classes page HERE.
I’m honored to appear on Heather Newman’s “Creative Mavens” podcast this month, in which I talk about how an incident in high school turned me into a feminist activist at age 15, and how it shaped the work I do with strengthening women’s voices. You can listen right HERE.
If you would like to book a private Zoom session with me to work on your public speaking, use the email form and I’ll send you back the next available dates in my schedule. Looking forward to working with you!
Thousands of Women Taught Me This About Power...
Here’s a LinkedIn article I just published about my work coaching women’s public speaking. NOTE: Although I focused on that particular aspect of my work in this piece, I also still teach singing lessons on occasion. Email me directly if you’d like to try a private singing or public speaking lesson alicia@aliciadara.com
In my job as a professional voice coach, I specialize in working women. In a nutshell, I teach public speaking skills like breath support, pacing, and vocal projection, and help my clients clarify their messaging. I also show them how to push back against acts of everyday sexism, like being interrupted, talked over, and having their ideas co-opted. I do this via group trainings and private lessons.
Everyone has the same basic vocal anatomy: vocal cords, lungs, and diaphragm muscle. How we use them to produce our own voice is a highly individualized process. It involves kinesthetic, mental, and emotional elements that we engage every single day. No two people are alike, and I'm constantly surprised by the myriad variety of human voices. Yet women's voices in particular compel me, because we are constantly moving between how we want to live and what is expected of us. This struggle is reflected in our voices, and if you know how to listen for it, you can learn a lot about what women are truly capable of (spoiler alert: anything!).
I love my job as much as a person can. It takes me into many different industries and businesses, such as tech, law, finance, education, start-ups and social justice. My clients run the gamut from huge enterprise companies (such as Microsoft, where I am currently a vendor), and 3- or 4-person small businesses. In 20+ years I've had the opportunity to observe and interact with thousands of women, and I've come to understand something that I believe is crucial to the continued progress of women in our society.
It's simple. Women's voices are always about women's power: how we feel about our power, how we broadcast our power to the material world, and how the world responds to that power. It's obvious right at this particular moment in our political landscape that when women work collectively and raise our voices, we can accomplish astonishing things. The #MeToo movement is only one example. Women are running for political office in record numbers. We're also drawing attention to the lack of equal representation at the highest levels of business and industry, demanding real change, and creating real solutions. And of course let's not forget equal pay for equal work, a concept that has existed for more than half a century, yet is still not fully enacted into law (or practiced by every employer).
I'm honored to have a front-row seat to these extraordinary events, as women's voices grow stronger than ever. Are you ready to come and join us? For information about the next "Public Speaking Bootcamp for Women" click here.
Self-Care for Your Voice (And the Rest of You!)...
Let's take stock for a moment: how has your voice improved in the past year? What do you want to work on in 2018? Got any outstanding questions or fears holding you back? Got some good trainings lined up to learn new skills? How about the overall health of your voice? Believe it or not, it's connected to the overall health of your body.
Being human comes with many challenges. We know that stress is bad for us, and we bravely struggle to maintain a balance of mind, body and spirit that enables us to be our best in the world. Now more than ever, self-care is a worthwhile investment of our precious time. If you're going to speak (and sing) up for yourself, some of that time needs to be dedicated to your voice.
I'm constantly reminding my clients that the health of your body IS the health of your voice. If you are tired, run-down, and listless your voice will be as well. Getting to good health involves a series of good habits, big and small, that we practice every day. Over time we come to trust these habits as they begin to work, making us stronger, fitter, and more resilient.
Some excellent habits that can improve the health of your voice (and your entire body) are drinking more water (start with a giant glass of H20 before your morning coffee), prioritizing sleep (try going to bed an hour earlier, and let your body learn to relax into it), and working on cardio fitness (so that your lungs are healthy and strong, for deeper breath support when you speak and sing). These are proven ways to uplift your overall state of health as well as that of your voice. There is one other important issue I want to address, and that is chronic pain/ inflammation.
Inflammation is part of the aging process. The degree to which we experience its effects depends on both genealogical and lifestyle factors. Some of these are beyond our control, but many of them we can improve via our good daily habits. There are some kinds of inflammation, however, that can and should be addressed (and healed) for the good of your voice. Some of these include chronic lung issues, like asthma, bronchitis and frequent colds that lead to coughs. The larynx, home of your vocal cords, sits right on top of the trachea, your windpipe. Coughing and wheezing can cause the larynx to become tense and irritated. Many people try to "power through" these kinds of illnesses, thinking that they'll resolve on their own. But if left untreated for too long these issues can cause terrible hoarseness, and even long-term laryngitis. If your voice is compromised your ability to be effective in the world is limited, because you cannot speak up for yourself in a powerful way.
I advise my clients to take care of these issues quickly when they appear. I also remind them that "an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure", and encourage them to explore new and more effective ways to boost their immunity. For myself, I've always had great success with acupuncture, which I receive regularly. I also avoid dairy products, which cause huge problems in my digestion, sleep, and vocal tone, and make any allergy/cold symptoms much worse. I guard my sleep carefully, and make sure not to stay too long (or party too hard) at parties. If there's one thing I've learned from my years onstage, it's that you should always leave 'em wanting more :)
Breaking News...
"Public Speaking for Introverts" is coming soon! Watch the trailer here, and sign up on Alicia's mailing list for further details:
5 Life Hacks That Strengthen Your Voice...
As I've stated many times, the health of our body IS the health of our voice. We cannot speak or sing with full energy if we don't have that energy available. Good vocal health comes from good physical, mental, and emotional health working in balance with each other. For most of us this ideal state is elusive, because the demands of modern life take their toll on every part of us, and the speed of life often moves too quickly to catch up. Efficiency techniques can help, which is where life hacks come in handy. In the interest of multi-tasking our way toward good physical and vocal health, here are 5 life hacks* that can also positively impact your voice:
1) Morning H20
Wake up, sit up, and drink a tall glass of water. Yes, before coffee! Get ahead with your body's hydration, and you'll feel more energized throughout your day. Your vocal cords are fed by tiny capillaries that need water to maintain robust strength. You might even find that excess throat clearing (bad for your cords!) decreases, as the water thins out extra mucus hanging around in the sinuses and throat. Water up!
2) Deep Breathing Meditation
I designed this one for my clients. There is ample scientific evidence proving that deep breathing brings multiple benefits to the human body. During this process, the parasympathetic nervous system gets triggered and starts to implement its calming, soothing, anti-inflammatory effects. Your voice needs full, robust breath support to be its best, and getting more in touch with your respiratory system will help. Breathe in peace, breathe out calm.
3) Anti-Inflammatory Diet
Any kind of anti-inflammatory lifestyle choices can positively impact your voice. The vocal cords and respiratory system are subject to the same effects of inflammation as the rest of you. Reducing it can greatly improve the clarity, fullness, and power of your voice. An anti-inflammatory diet is a good place to start. Enjoy the taste of good health.
4) Reduce (or Eliminate!) Dairy Products
This one is controversial, but in my experience it's worth considering. For the record, I am a strict "no-dairy" person. Too much dairy can cause excess mucus to form in the ear, nose and throat, and this can all impact your voice in a negative way. Aside from having to constantly clear your throat, your vocal tone can come out muffled and weak. I've observed that my clients' voices clear up considerably after a period of "dairy rest". Dairy has also been linked to digestive, menstrual, and skin issues. If you suffer from any of these, you might want to step back from the pizza and yoghurt. Calcium and probiotic supplements can fill in for things your body might miss.
5) Regular Humming (or Singing!)
A singer takes time every day to warm-up their voice through dedicated vocal exercises. This process is vital to the long-term health and stamina of singers' voices. Public speakers also do some vocal warm-ups that prepare them for their speeches. A good vocal coach can work with you to design specific exercises for your voice (contact me if you'd like a private session: alicia@aliciadara.com). This is a great way to commit to the long-term health and power of your voice. In the short term, try humming! Light, gentle humming keeps your vocal cords active. Music can also trigger good brain chemicals to start flowing, which can greatly improve your mood. Or try full-on singing! Just make sure you're safe from judgmental eyes and ears. My clients sing in the shower, in the car, or in the kitchen when fans are running on the stove. Try it!
*NOTE: consult your doctor before trying any of these
5 Ways CEO's Can Boost Women's Voices In the Workplace...
In this piece I'm choosing to address CEO's directly, because everywhere I coach (but especially in the corporate sector) women tell me the same thing: they feel that no matter how many inclusivity mandates and diversity trainings their companies provide, the C-suite is out of touch with with is actually happening on the ground. Some of these women have described a deep distrust of their companies' motives, in part because their CEO's do not demonstrate a knowledge of, or regard for, the very issues that they claim to be addressing, nor do they behave in ways that promote real change. The following is based on the feedback I've gotten from scores of women that I’ve worked with directly, and although it contains only 5 examples, there are many more. I hope you find it helpful. Please feel free to ask questions in the comments, or email me for further consultation: alicia@aliciadara.com
1) Participate in the exact same unconscious bias and diversity trainings as your employees. Learn the language and behavioral methods of inclusivity, and practice them wherever you go (even in your personal life!). Don’t just talk the talk: walk the walk! Demonstrate that you are just as accountable for your words and actions as any other employee. Don’t stop there: think of it as a life-long learning process. Your commitment could start a genuine revolution, and you could help change your entire company culture for the better.
2) Know and understand your HR's effect on women and women-identified people. If HR is in a habitual defensive crouch then you cannot expect women to feel supported, or to trust HR to help out if they are made to feel unsafe in the workplace. Work with coaches and consultants who can help build a genuine bridge between HR and your company's female work force. The goal is to change the relationship from antagonistic to amenable, or at least receptive. Make it clear to all that this is the new mandate. If the entire company knows that HR is women's ally, you might actually prevent a whole host of problems before they start.
3) Commit to 50% women and women-identified panelists at conferences. It’s utterly ridiculous to claim that your company values women and believes in workplace equality if you can’t produce an equal number of them to speak at these events. This may seem like "someone else's problem", but if you make it your own mission you can have a serious effect on the status, aspirations, and productivity of the women in your company. Stand up for your valuable female employees, and mandate the change that you (and they!) wish to see in the world.
4) Ask women *directly* what they need to feel seen, heard, and valued at work. Don’t just rely on reports and executive summaries compiled by others. Gather your own information. Block out a period of time on your calendar for "open-door" sessions with any women who want to talk to you. Make this a yearly habit, and take it seriously. While it's true that some (perhaps many) women will be intimidated, there will be a group that will show up and talk about some vital points that you could otherwise miss. NOTE: this action should not replace anonymous surveys, which are crucial for amassing data and giving your company a sense of how best to serve women. Use both actions in tandem with each other, and take time to study the results thoroughly.
5) And lastly (though it should always be first), speak up against sexism and misogyny in your own life. Don’t underestimate the powerful effect you can have on the lives of your wives, daughters, mothers, sisters, and friends. Letting them know you stand by them, and helping to further the cause of political, social, and economic equality in their lives on a daily basis is one of the most rewarding actions you can take. Actively working for these things will be part of the legacy that you leave behind. Take it seriously, and remember to keep learning!