Self-Care for Your Voice (And the Rest of You!)...

Let's take stock for a moment: how has your voice improved in the past year? What do you want to work on in 2018? Got any outstanding questions or fears holding you back? Got some good trainings lined up to learn new skills? How about the overall health of your voice? Believe it or not, it's connected to the overall health of your body.

Being human comes with many challenges. We know that stress is bad for us, and we bravely struggle to maintain a balance of mind, body and spirit that enables us to be our best in the world. Now more than ever, self-care is a worthwhile investment of our precious time. If you're going to speak (and sing) up for yourself, some of that time needs to be dedicated to your voice. 

I'm constantly reminding my clients that the health of your body IS the health of your voice. If you are tired, run-down, and listless your voice will be as well. Getting to good health involves a series of good habits, big and small, that we practice every day. Over time we come to trust these habits as they begin to work, making us stronger, fitter, and more resilient. 

Some excellent habits that can improve the health of your voice (and your entire body) are drinking more water (start with a giant glass of H20 before your morning coffee), prioritizing sleep (try going to bed an hour earlier, and let your body learn to relax into it), and working on cardio fitness (so that your lungs are healthy and strong, for deeper breath support when you speak and sing). These are proven ways to uplift your overall state of health as well as that of your voice. There is one other important issue I want to address, and that is chronic pain/ inflammation.

Inflammation is part of the aging process. The degree to which we experience its effects depends on both genealogical and lifestyle factors. Some of these are beyond our control, but many of them we can improve via our good daily habits. There are some kinds of inflammation, however, that can and should be addressed (and healed) for the good of your voice. Some of these include chronic lung issues, like asthma, bronchitis and frequent colds that lead to coughs. The larynx, home of your vocal cords, sits right on top of the trachea, your windpipe. Coughing and wheezing can cause the larynx to become tense and irritated. Many people try to "power through" these kinds of illnesses, thinking that they'll resolve on their own. But if left untreated for too long these issues can cause terrible hoarseness, and even long-term laryngitis. If your voice is compromised your ability to be effective in the world is limited, because you cannot speak up for yourself in a powerful way.

I advise my clients to take care of these issues quickly when they appear. I also remind them that "an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure", and encourage them to explore new and more effective ways to boost their immunity. For myself, I've always had great success with acupuncture, which I receive regularly. I also avoid dairy products, which cause huge problems in my digestion, sleep, and vocal tone, and make any allergy/cold symptoms much worse. I guard my sleep carefully, and make sure not to stay too long (or party too hard) at parties. If there's one thing I've learned from my years onstage, it's that you should always leave 'em wanting more :)

Your Top-Ten Public Speaking Questions Answered...

In 2018 it will be 25 years that I've been working as a professional voice teacher (singing and public speaking). My students and clients are smart, curious, and dedicated, and I'm lucky to be part of such a great community. Through them I've learned that a teacher's job (in a nutshell) is to be an example, a guide, and a resource of information. I take great care with the questions I'm asked, and I work to help each person find an answer that works for them. That said, there are some questions that seem to be universal, and can be answered in a more general way. BTW, "Public Speaking Bootcamp for Women" is coming up on Tuesday November 28th from 5-7pm in downtown Seattle. The fee is $100. Contact me directly to register: alicia@aliciadara.com Now to your questions:

What if I don't care about/am bored by the topic that I'm supposed to give a talk/announcement/presentation about?

You might not love the topic you're speaking on, but you can be passionate about the people you're speaking to. Focus on being a trustworthy and transparent channel of information for your audience. Speak as if the thing(s) you are saying are valuable to them directly. This is probably true, if only for a small percentage of your audience. Give your best with them in mind.

How can I learn to look in people's eyes when I'm giving a talk? 

Understand that your audience's eyes are not judging you, they are receiving you. In order for them to properly focus on what you're saying and absorb it fully, they need to look right at you while you're speaking. Maintaining eye contact with them helps facilitate their trust in you, so take deep breath, raise your head, and look up.

What should I do if I mess up in the middle of my speech? Should I start over again?

There's no need re-do the beginning of your talk. Simply pause, take a deep breath, and start the "messed up" words over again. Your audience will understand your taking the time to enunciate clearly, so they can fully understand what you are saying. They will recognize that you take them seriously enough to pay them this courtesy.

How can I stop shaking before I give a public talk? 

Some degree of nervousness is natural before speaking in public, and there are physical symptoms that go along with nerves, including a light flutter. Extensive practice, visualization, and work with a good coach can help you greatly reduce these symptoms and better ground yourself, but one good habit is to stabilize your blood sugar before you give a talk. Don't skip a meal! Fuel up on protein-rich meals and snacks. I always keep an extra protein bar in my purse for clients who have forgotten to eat.

What should I do if no one is paying attention while I'm delivering my speech(es)?

This is a tough one. Ask yourself some basic questions: are you speaking loud enough? Is your pacing so fast that no one can keep up, or are you so slow that you're putting them to sleep? Do you speak in a boring monotone? Is it a body language issue? Are you slouching, cowering, turning away, not looking them in the eye? These are all actions that "tell" the audience not to pay attention to you. Correct them and see what happens.

How can I make my voice louder when I'm giving a public talk?

Most "low talkers" are not getting nearly enough breath support to the voice. Learning how to take a diaphragmatic breath, and using the air as you speak, is something that a good voice coach can help with. You can also try pitching the sound of your voice a bit higher, which can help the sound travel farther. But be aware that you're going to have to get used to the sound and feeling of your full voice... are you ready to rock?

What if I "blank" in a part of my memorized talk?

Typically my clients who "blank" (forget a line or section of at talk that they have memorized) have not spent enough time visualizing themselves giving the entire talk. Practice makes perfect, and visualization is a vital part of a good practice regimen. Olympic figure skaters don't just practice triple-jumps, they visualize themselves jumping and landing perfectly, over and over. See it and be it.

What if my voice cracks when I'm speaking?

A tiny "crack" in the sound of your voice is entirely human, and usually remedied by light throat clearing. Don't over do it, or you might start to cough, which will rough up your voice further. Say "excuse me", drink a sip of water if you need to, and carry on. 

How should I move my face and body while I'm speaking? 

Studies have shown that actions and gestures that point upward are inviting and attractive to others. Your eyebrows, your hands, and the corners of your mouth can all make upward movements that will draw people in. It's alright to clasp your hands together at your waist, as long as you unclasp them to gesture (upward) when appropriate. Never cross your arms over your chest, or your legs over each other. Align yourself comfortably, then lift your sternum up an inch, so that your chest is relaxed and open. Breathe deeply and feel the power of this stance. Everything should flow from there.

How can I get people to take my talk seriously when I'm the youngest/ least important person in the room?

Use your physicality and voice together. Stand up to your full height, lift the sternum an inch, open your eyes and look around the room before you start talking. Breathe into the diaphragm, and speak from your belly power. Take your time. Don't uptalk (it's that thing? when the end of each sentence? goes up in pitch? and sounds like a question?). Keep your objective in mind, and don't back down. Act like someone who is confident (not arrogant), and you will be.

What if I have laryngitis? How can I strengthen my voice in time for my speech?

First the good news: full laryngitis (no sound coming out at all) is temporary. The bad news is that the human body typically needs 3 days to fully recover from it. I advise my clients to reschedule talks if they have full or even partial laryngitis, because trying to force the voice to work will only prolong the problem. Reschedule, heal, and come back strong. 

How can I make my speaking voice sound more compelling? 

Download your favorite book on tape, and pick a paragraph to work with. Record yourself reading that paragraph, and compare it to the sound of the actor's voice. What are the fundamental differences? Are you speaking too low, too fast, to monotone? Practice the inflection of the other voice by speaking along with it, at the same pace, using the same pitch and volume. Now take a deep breath and try it louder. Record yourself again once you've worked on it, and listen for improvements. And work with a good voice coach to help you develop your own style of speaking. 

Why People Don't Learn (And How They Can)

I've been a self-employed Professional Creative Person and teaching artist for 20 years. I've mostly taught individual singing lessons (kids ages 10-18 and adults). I've also done songwriting workshops in public and private schools, taught executives to improve their public speaking, and coached many people through their creative works. This year I started ADMC Creative, my consulting and coaching company, for people who want to make meaningful personal works and huge public triumphs with their creativity (email me for rates and information). 

You could say that I've devoted my entire life to helping people with their creative endeavors. This is a sacred privilege that I take seriously, and it's informed the way I see the world. Most people learn at a rapid rate when passion and enthusiasm are driving them. A good teacher mirrors this energy and helps the student direct it toward their goal. While it is inevitable that obstacles will occur on the road, there is only one true impediment to learning (and here I'm talking about adult students). Unless and until a person can work through this issue, no viable progress can be made. The obstacle is this: the inability to enter, and remain comfortable in, Beginner's Mind.

As children we embody every single growth metaphor, all at the same time: we are like sunflowers stretching toward the sun, like sponges soaking up the ocean, like birds struggling to fly, and like foals learning to walk. In fact, we're learning so much so fast that it can feel exhausting. Yet we rise every day with a ferocious hunger for the world and all the things in it. We are ravenous, wonder-filled beginners. We're surrounded by "experts", adults who seem to have the answer for every question, and we don't hesitate to ask them again and again for help when we need it. In our learning process we experiment; we listen to instruction, attempt, fail, try again, take suggestions, fail again, shake it off and try something new. We repeat this process over and over, with our eyes and ears open, until we have enough confidence to go forward on our own. 

When we become adults we're suddenly faced with the prospect of Failure (with a capitol F!). The fear of it shadows everything we do. We work hard to outrun this fear, yet it clings with diabolical tenacity. Success is the goal, eternally shape-shifting in front of us on the road, distorting our field of vision. Failure is the rabid dog on our trail. Fear of failure can motivate us to do our best work, but the price we pay is steep. In allowing fear to drive us we lose our ability to be vulnerable, to falter, to feel uncertain and lost, and to find our way forward one careful step at a time. We forget how to be beginners because we're so afraid of not appearing like experts. We take this fear with us every time we start something new, and that's part of the reason that we abandon so many efforts at the early stage (think back... how many hobbies, relationships, jobs, and creative works have you started and quit before you got good at them?). In order to experience our full creative potential, we have to be willing to think like beginners. 

In my years of teaching I have observed that the learning process can trigger an avalanche of struggle. Symptoms of resistance to Beginner's Mind include being easily distracted, deflecting answers to direct questions, boasting about unrelated accomplishments, crying, sweating, and not showing up. Quite often, when we are fighting against Beginner's Mind, prickling embarrassment torments us and makes us stammer, blush, and stutter. Our vulnerability scares us. We become intensely frustrated, and ashamed of our frustration. We mutter that we don't know what's wrong with us, then make an excuse that is not truthful. In short, we do everything possible to regain our composure and feel safe and strong again. But that strength, rather than supporting and encouraging us to relax our fears and trust the process of learning, actually puts a giant wall between us and the creative success that we so long for. In fact, that wall can keep us from having any creative satisfaction at all.

So how do we break on through to the other side? With simple curiosity. Rather than struggling to cover up when we feel vulnerable, we can step away from our ego, look at the task in front of us, and ask, "what's cool about this? how does it work? what can I try that I haven't tried before?". We may have undertaken a creative effort because we want more enjoyment and fulfillment in our lives, and that's a good choice. But here's the thing: If you want to learn (and improve) you're going to have to get comfortable with being a beginner. No one gets to skip this step. 

When you are in Beginner's Mind, be infinitely curious. Find a good teacher and ask a thousand questions.  Practice your art diligently. Examine the fine details of what you're doing, and compare them with the larger picture. Work with a steady hand and a light touch. Step back from time to time, observe your progress, and make note of improvements. Read about others who have tread the path before you. Take comfort and inspiration from their journey, and know that you are part of a much larger community of dedicated artists who were once, every last one of them, beginners.

Finding your way back to Beginner's Mind, and staying there through your learning process, is a heroic act. If you attempt it, expect to feel your own resistance rising up like a mountain in front of you. Don't despair. Melt yourself down like fresh glacier water, and flow around it. Ask yourself what's on the other side, and go find out!