©2022 Alicia Dara
One of the things I love best about my job is getting to work with women from all over the world, both individually and in groups, and hear their amazing stories. It’s a privilege to learn about their experiences and insights, not only because I experience their culture through their eyes, but because I also get to witness the extraordinary strength and resilience that women possess.
Some of my clients come from cultures where women are dissuaded, or even prevented, from working outside the home and getting an education. Yet they find multiple ways to make progress, and although each step on their path is difficult, their powerful determination keeps them going forward. Often their journey to America has not been a direct route, but one with many twists, turns and detours along the way. Achieving their career goals requires intense focus and concentration, as well as a steady faith that their process will yield the results they want, in both their personal and professional goals.
My Power Voice client I’ll call Tani*, a petite woman with shiny bangs and a big smile, is a perfect example. Tani came from an island in the South Pacific, and grew up in a Patriarchal culture where women were supposed to drop out of high school, get married, and bear as many children as possible. Yet from an early age Tani rejected this destiny. She was the first girl in her family to ever graduate from high school, and that year she also had the highest scores of any student on her island! In her spare time she took extra English classes from a friend’s British mother, who told her about all the world-class colleges in England. This woman believed in Tani, and helped her apply for a scholarship to Oxford, which she received. While Tani was there she got accepted for a post-grad program in the US, which allowed her to continue her research about data-driven solutions for ending child hunger (a plight she herself had experienced in her own childhood). That led to an internship with a big tech company that sponsored her visa application, and eventually hired her full-time.
By the time Tani came to see me for her first Power Voice session she had just been promoted to Manager, but she wasn’t sure that she could do it. As someone who identified as an introvert, she didn’t speak up much in meetings, or volunteer to give work presentations. She was accustomed to “letting her work speak for itself”. This is a common mistake that many professional women make, and it’s not a good strategy for career success. Tani often felt like her team didn’t take her seriously when she spoke, and didn’t listen to her instructions. In a crowded and competitive workplace, Tani’s inability to actively advocate for herself was contributing to her impostor syndrome, and causing a ton of anxiety that she wanted to overcome.
I coached her Power Voice skills so she could advocate for herself with maximum confidence and clarity, and show up powerfully in her new role. After 6 sessions she looked and sounded great, but something was still missing. I have an extensive performance background, and I bring those techniques and insights to all my work. What I saw with Tani is that she hadn’t yet fully embodied the vision of herself as Manager; it wasn’t part of her mindset. Seeing yourself in a new role before you achieve it is extremely helpful, because it can magnify your energy, confidence and personal charisma, increasing your chances of being viewed as the right candidate for the job.
This process of visualization touches on issues of personal identity, which greatly inform our overall mindset. The funny thing about our identity is that although we may perceive it as being fixed and steady, it’s actually changing and evolving constantly. We always have the ability to shift into fresh new ways of seeing ourselves as we travel on our career journey. I often encourage my clients to use metaphors, avatars and images to connect with their personal strengths. I asked Tani to describe her current self-image as a career woman, and here’s what she told me: “I see myself as a crystal blue river that is moving across an island. There are some big rocks and logs in my way, but I slowly flow around them, and I just keep flowing in the right direction.”
Instantly I saw what was missing from Tani’s gorgeous image: it was her destination! She had specific images for everything on her journey except the place she wanted to go. I suggested she move her visualization forward in time, so that she could see and feel her river flowing right into the welcoming ocean.
Changing that one little mindset detail made a big difference in Tani’s confidence, which she brought to her next team meeting. Not only did she get their full attention, she got noticed by a Senior leader who was also in the room. He gave her a project that won the company’s biggest client, and last month she was promoted to VP! Whenever I see Tani’s LinkedIn posts, I notice that she uses images of islands, rivers and oceans in her posts. Her confident mindset carried her through, and she’s out there thriving in the wild blue waves.
Learning to advocate for your work can take awhile. It starts with things like speaking up confidently during meetings, volunteering for work presentations, and stepping up to other leadership tasks where you get to be in the spotlight. Finding your Power Voice can help you take a big leap forward in all of these actions. You can work with me privately, take one of my Zoom trainings, or invite me to give a group Power Voice training to all the women and non-binary people in your office. Email me directly for rates and availability. I love hearing from you!